United Thread - 2023/24

[Mr Fraser]

They fucking love a statement don't they?

‘Jadon Sancho will remain on a personal training programme away from the first-team group, pending resolution of a squad discipline issue,’ a statement read.

Is he suspended from 1st team duties

 

[A590 blues]

Does he drive the A team van?

Ha ha I was thinking mystery machine

 

[Mr Fraser]

If Sancho was at Brighton, he'd be the first name on the team sheet, and he'd be smashing it every week. Clocking up ridiculous stats along the way. We've seen this shit before with Wilfred Zaha. As soon as they pull on that shirt, they become invisible. It's a curse.

Brighton would never sign the likes of sancho. Wobble la

 

[LangleyBlue1970]

Shit mate, I just googled her, are you sure you didn’t mean to write MIDWLF ?

Seriously though, she is actually quite a pretty looking girl, what’s the opposite of BOBFOC ? is it FOBBOC ?

Explain those capitals. I’m struggling!

 

[yeah whatever !!]

They fucking love a statement don't they?

‘Jadon Sancho will remain on a personal training programme away from the first-team group, pending resolution of a squad discipline issue,’ a statement read.

How's this for a statement
SCUM...."Same Cunts Usual Mess"

 

[Dirty Harry]

Explain those capitals. I’m struggling!

Body Off Baywatch Face Off Crimewatch, gimme a shout if you need any help with the last one :-).

 

[LangleyBlue1970]

Body Off Baywatch Face Off Crimewatch, gimme a shout if you need any help with the last one :-).

Ha. What’s MIDWLF?

 

[Dirty Harry]

Ha. What’s MIDWLF?

Mother I Definitely Wouldn’t like (to) F*ck.

 

[LangleyBlue1970]

Mother I Definitely Wouldn’t like (to) F*ck.

Of course it is. There was one photo where it was clear she was cold, and that’s all it took for me.

 

[jacko74]

- Sacks Ronaldo
- Sacks De Gea
- Strips Maguire of Captaincy
- Buys Antony
- Buys Mount
- Buys Onana
- Sends Sancho to the Mountains
- Loses 6:3 to City
- Loses 7:0 to Liverpool
- Loses 5:2 to Sevilla
- Loses 3:1 to Arsenal twice

Erik Ten Hag ladies and gents.

View attachment 93296

The only thing I'd dispute there is he didn't sack Ronaldo... he caved into his demand to leave the club despite trying his best to appease him and get him to stay.

 

[jacko74]

for years its been true that united are a marketing company with a football team attached and now they are a failing marketing company with a failing football team attached.

Unfortunately they're not really failing at the marketing side of things, having just got another bunch of mugs to agree to a record shirt sponsorship deal despite two previous shirt sponsors regretting their deals and realising what poor value for money their respective deals represented.

 

[Tracking back]

@schfc6 The manager of the womens team before they sacked them off because it cost too much money. He got done for molesting under age girls. Recently the rags held some awards dinner and brought him back to honour him. Apparently he has been banned from all football..... the rags said they were not aware

I thought you were going to finish that sentence with a good one-liner:

"The rags said they were not a proper football outfit"

 

[horlock_was_super]

I wonder whatever happened to that gypsy curse we had at Maine Road?
Perhaps we took it with us when we moved, Khaldoon found it in the back of a cupboard somewhere and has since put it to good use……………..

 

[KS55]

The rags have signed a former Weston super mare and Oxford United keeper how the mighty have fallen lol

Tony Book…..Bath
Summerbee …..Swindon.
Bell……Bury
Hart…..Shrewsbury.
Alan Oakes….Chester
Tevez…..rags
etc etc
Its not where you start that counts, it’s where you finish.

 

[KS55]

Harry Maguire's mother hits out at 'disgraceful' abuse towards Man Utd defender

'As a mum seeing the level of negative and abusive comments in which my son is receiving from some fans, pundits and the media is disgraceful and totally unacceptable.'

metro.co.uk

“My Kyle is getting far too much criticism for waving his willy around in the pub.” Love Kyle‘s Mum.

 

[Blue Mist]

Dear Mr Hag,
Harry can't come out to play this Saturday.

Yours,

Mrs Maguire.

 

[malg]

So are you saying that it’s ok for morons to boo Grelish and Sterling every time they are on the ball ?

Yes. If that's what they want you do.

 

[malg]

I thought only girls sat that close to a steering wheel.

 

[vincent]

New Canteen… very progressive.

#mufc players are now leaving Carrington at around 2pm when they were previously free to depart at lunchtime. United are maximising their recently-refurbished canteen and new head chef Omar Meziane as part of Ten Hag's nutritional drive [@samuelluckhurst]

 

[Colin Bells Boots]

Unfortunately they're not really failing at the marketing side of things, having just got another bunch of mugs to agree to a record shirt sponsorship deal despite two previous shirt sponsors regretting their deals and realising what poor value for money their respective deals represented.

The rags have been very successful at marketing their brand over many years, which is very annoying .

If their football management was comparable they would be a genuine challenge to our successes instead of a complete laughing stock, and example of exactly how not to run a football club.

Whoever is responsible for their player recruitment should be applauded for getting paid for their lack of knowledge and for getting it so bloody wrong, on so many levels and occasions.