Joke thread

[Vienna_70]

What do you call a Scouser in a suit?

The wrongly accused, who is entirely innocent and unjustly persecuted by the Establishment.

Don’t you know, it wasn’t his fault?

 

[Maintainin]

"Stall him out, Deebo"

 

[jimharri]

A pervert at the Palace, and no sign of Andrew Mountbatten Windsor?

 

[Sam101]

 

[Sam101]

 

[HorlocksWalk]

View attachment 177771

Last time the rags won something

 

[NZBlue]

View attachment 178098

A pervert at the Palace, and no sign of Andrew Mountbatten Windsor?

Andrew wouldn't be at the palace

 

[Uwe Already]

I went to Waterstones and asked for a book called “living with deafness”, they found it so I asked “is it signed?”, she said “no, you’ll have to read it”

 

[jimharri]

Andrew wouldn't be at the palace

Er; riiiight. Thanks for that.

 

[noseve]

View attachment 178117

That's all they needed, after the Soo pregnancy scandal.

She's keeping quiet, but rumour is Harry Corbett had a hand in it...



Edit: thanks to @Citizen of Legoland for the correct spelling of 'Soo' - excellent puppet knowledge :-)

 

[TinFoilHat]

That's all they needed, after the Sue pregnancy scandal.

She's keeping quiet, but rumour is Harry Corbett had a hand in it...

Matthew won't be happy. She friend zoned him.

 

[Citizen of Legoland]

That's all they needed, after the Sue pregnancy scandal.

She's keeping quiet, but rumour is Harry Corbett had a hand in it...

Soo, not Sue.

 

[mosssideblue]

View attachment 178098

A pervert at the Palace, and no sign of Andrew Mountbatten Windsor?

Selfi

 

[jimharri]

Selfi

Nah; I look nothing like her.

 

[noseve]

View attachment 178098

A pervert at the Palace, and no sign of Andrew Mountbatten Windsor?

Look mate - when you pay for a stripogram, you're entitled to keep a record of it...

 

[blue44]

 

[Sam101]

Went to a restaurant last night, the waiter said "For starters there's badger soup, followed by roast badger and finishing with badger mousse”

"Is there anything else apart from badger?" I asked.

“No", he replied. "It's a sett menu."

 

[Sam101]

My missus and I were watching ‘Dirty Dancing’ whilst eating dinner last night. When she got up to make a cuppa, I sneakily took the herbs off her plate and put them on to mine.

I’ve had the thyme off my wife.