Joke thread

A guy is checking in at the airport, his ticket says his flying to Sydney, he says to the check-in girl I'm going to Sydney but I want my case delivered to Melbourne, the girl instantly says I'm sorry sir we can't do that your baggage has to go wherever you go, the guy says that's funny you did it last week.
 
Which reminds the manager at the butcher's sacked the head butcher cos he kept putting his willy in the bacon slicer. When asked what happened to the baconslicer he said I sacked her an all
"Warning sign in a butchers shop, "Please do not stand too close to the bacon slicer, we are getting behind with our orders".
 

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