Joke thread

[jimharri]

 

[Bill Walker]

Still cracks me up this one..

 

[jimharri]

 

[bluethrunthru]

 

[Blue Mist]

Why instead of looking at the snooker table is he admiring the blokes arse ?

 

[TinFoilHat]

That him in the corner?

 

[bladdered]

 

[bladdered]

A Yorkshire man walks into the dentist and asks how much it will cost to extract a tooth.

"You're looking at about £350" the dentist says.

"OW MUCH!!!" the Yorkshire man exclaims in disbelief

"£350 to tek a chuffin tooth 'art! Int there a cheaper way?"

"Well," the dentist says, "If I don't use anaesthetic, I can probably do it for about £200. It'll be really painful though!"

"I'm not arsed about how painful it'll be but that's still too expensive!" replies the Yorkshire man.

"Hmmm," says the dentist, scratching his head. "I could give Leeds Dental hospital a ring and they could probably send a student up to give it a go for some experience. I suppose in that case I could charge you £100."

"Nope," moans the Yorkshire man, "it's still too much! I'm not med of money!"

"Okay," says the dentist. "If I simply just rip the tooth out with a pair of pliers, I can do that for 50 quid?"

"Champion," says the Yorkshireman. "Book the wife in for next Tuesday!"

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[bladdered]

I went to my premature ejaculation support group today.
Found out it's tomorrow.

 

[Harrilew]

Need some advice

One of my colleagues has been off work all week because he has a sick cow


I think he's milking it

 

[Sam101]

I met a bloke in a wheelchair today, his face was battered and bruised."What happened to your face?" I asked.

"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.

"Boxing?" I enquired.

"No...110m hurdles."

 

[Sam101]

A group of men have been convicted of stealing roof joists in South Wales.



The press have labeled them the Tenby eight.

 

[chris63]

 

[sir baconface]

 

[Sam101]

 

[Vienna_70]

Need some advice

One of my colleagues has been off work all week because he has a sick cow


I think he's milking it

Are you sure he hasn’t hurt the back of his lower leg, and has a poorly calf?

 

[LangleyBlue1970]

What’s 50ft long and stinks of piss?







A conga in an old folks home.

 

[Harrilew]

Are you sure he hasn’t hurt the back of his lower leg, and has a poorly calf

Think he said he had a cold........

Said he was Friesian

 

[Vienna_70]

@Harrilew

He should put on a Jersey!