Joke thread

[Blue Mist]

Didn't Jagger sing about living on the 99th floor of his block? Can't see a 29 storey tower interrupting his view.

Oy, pack it in, get off a my cloud.

I said hey, hey you.
Get Off A My Cloud.

 

[Blue Mist]

They of all people should know you cant always get what you want.

As a side issue, they were the rebels as opposed to the Beatles, now they are just another rich NIMBY, mega rich bunch of wankers.
(Alongside Roger Daltrey who wanted to die before he got old)

Oh how they lied to me

 

[Grassland Blue]

Les was of the very best comedians ever, in my book. Articulate, original, rubbery face and the very epitome of contemporaneous Northern humour.

Not yet seen any modern comic fit to lace his boots, especially those of political or painfully woke bias.

Apologies for a mild diversion; this is supposed to be a joke forum.

I remember growing up.
We were so poor.
When I was 7 my dad bought me a cap so that I could look out of the window.....

 

[Sam101]

When I was growing up, we were so poor, all my clothes came from army surplus store.

I was the only Japanese General in my class.

 

[Paul Moulden's Golden Balls]

We were so poor that my parents took us to KFC to lick other peoples fingers.

 

[Cityfan]

Oy, pack it in, get off a my cloud.

I said hey, hey you.
Get Off A My Cloud.

The people on the higher floors are prone to nervous breakdowns.

 

[jimharri]

I remember growing up.
We were so poor.
When I was 7 my dad bought me a cap so that I could look out of the window.....

We were so poor, that if I hadn't been born a boy, I'd have had nothing to play with.

 

[Uwe Already]

We were so poor, one Christmas all I got was an empty box - my dad said it was an action man deserter…

 

[Indaparkside]

I went to the drs after my 6th child the dr said have you ever thought about safe sex, I said well I’ve built a handrail around the bed

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[sir baconface]

 

[Sam Armstrong]

 

[NZBlue]

View attachment 192575

Its ok. They can always play a few rounds of I Spy instead

 

[bladdered]

 

[Sam101]

 

[Ho Chi Man City]

I got home tonight and saw a bloke stealing my gate.

I didn't say anything in case he took offence.

Tommy Cooper circa mid 70’s.

 

[honkytonkman187]

We were so poor, that if I hadn't been born a boy, I'd have had nothing to play with.

we were so poor that one Christmas I only got a bat and a ball.
The ball was great, but the bat just hung upside down in the airing cupboard*




*I might have posted this years ago on this thread

 

[Blue Llama]

The people on the higher floors are prone to nervous breakdowns.

Oh no, Jacks going to jump in a flash.

 

[bladdered]