Joke thread

[Maintainin]

 

[Bill Walker]

This morning, I was walking down the street and I was hit by a violin, then a clarinet and then a french horn.

I think it was an orchestrated attack.

 

[Zubrman]

View attachment 194165

Not keane on any of them.

 

[Vienna_70]

View attachment 194165

Where’s the dog wanker?

 

[Vienna_70]

What is the most dangerous part of a car?




The nut holding the wheel.

 

[Bill Walker]

I hired a handyman earlier today and gave him 6 things to do.

When I got back he only did 1, 3, and 5.

Turns out he only does odd jobs

 

[mosssideblue]

 

[mosssideblue]

 

[i kne albert davy]

View attachment 194232

Bet that didn't finish until he was 50.

 

[lefty goldblatt]

Well, there's a few grands worth

 

[Man-chester copperpot]

View attachment 194294
Well, there's a few grands worth

 

[Ho Chi Man City]

I absolutely refuse to accept the fact, that i fell overboard on an Egyptian river cruise.

Who said “defeat is OK?”

Nelson Mandela’s chiropodist

 

[jimharri]

Not sure if you'd class it as a joke per se, but there isn't (I think) a dedicated Instagram thread, so fuck it; it can go in here!

 

[horlock_was_super]

View attachment 194294
Well, there's a few grands worth

You. Are.Not.Fandabifuckingdozee.

You need help.

 

[yeseye]

 

[yeseye]

 

[Sam101]

I buy all my furniture and bathroom fittings from a local Chinese restaurant.



Last night I ordered a Suite and Shower

 

[lefty goldblatt]

52K views · 565 reactions | Bad Lip Reading of the Rolling Stones (NO AI) #therollingstones #rollingstones #mickjagger | Paddy Merritt

Bad Lip Reading of the Rolling Stones (NO AI) #therollingstones #rollingstones #mickjagger

www.facebook.com

 

[Sam101]

 

[Sam101]