Jehovas Witnesses

Blue Mist said:
Right, I know the title is wrong is it witnesses, as in plural of witness ? it just looks strange

and I also know you should not start a religion thread on a Friday night but.............

When they knock on your door are you polite or rude and have you ever invited them in ?
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Think they should changes their title to The Door Shutters(wonder if that,s were that saying comes from)
When one door closes another door opens...
 
steviemc said:
Simply answer the door naked, with an erection and with your body painted head to toe in blue swirly patterns. Politely inform them that your not interested in joining a monotheistic faith but tell them they are quite welcome to come and join in the Pagan orgy that's currently going on upstairs
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My mate wants to have your address please.
 
Used to knock on ours until last time when I said hang on a minute, went for a pen and bit of paper and asked them for their addresses. When they asked why I said "well you know where I live, now tell me where you live and I'll call round some time and let you know my views on life and the universe, fairdo's" They left.
 
haha fucking great stories.

When i was younger they used to flummox me with questions like
"do you think it would be good to have just one government"?
I'd say
"err, no"
"why"
"err i just dont, thanks for the leaflet bye"
or
"do you think there's an after life"
"err, no"
"why"?
"err i just dont, thanks for the leaflet bye"

Awkward as FUCK!

Now I take them on ala christopher hitchens and richard dawkins, i.e. "if there is a god he's fucking SADIST...where's your proof....etc etc"

I embarrass them back basically.

Whats the deal anyway dont they think god will only save about 300 at the end of the world or something??
And you cant share blood even if your baby is going to die?

RETARDED.
 
Invite them in make them comfy then ask what it is they want to talk about their reply will be don't know never got this far before hahaha bwaaah.
 
stony said:
I have first hand experience of these clowns. They prey on the vulnerable and if they manage to convert them while they're young they get another generation of warped religious nutters. Their only saving grace is that they haven't resorted to terrorism yet.
I have cousins who were brought up in this cult and they are so socially backwards it's frightening.
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Me too.

My teenage years I moved to my fathers because my mum didn't give a fuck. He became a witness after she left him. The so called years of teenage experimentation were banned (unless you are an Kingdom Hall elder). Wasn't allowed girlfriends, was banned from performing at the Edinburgh festival with a drama group I joined "because it was offensive to the religion". Every time I did something wrong I was called a liar and an embarrassment. He then met his now wife who decided I wasn't spiritual enough so kicked me out along with a letter saying I will always be a lazy,lonely person and can't wait for Armageddon to take me. The only common thing I have with my dad is City and now he refuses to come to matches with me. Taken me 5 years of councilling to forgive my mum and tell my dad he's a **** for forcing me to miss out on so much in life. I'm 38 years old and still playing catch up. The last time he spoke to me was to say ignore the false allegation of nonceing about to come out on (Ironically) a BBC documentary.


A truly fucked up cult. Which still affects me now and still trying to get rid of its influence.
 
stony said:
I have first hand experience of these clowns. They prey on the vulnerable and if they manage to convert them while they're young they get another generation of warped religious nutters. Their only saving grace is that they haven't resorted to terrorism yet.
I have cousins who were brought up in this cult and they are so socially backwards it's frightening.
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So u are talking about Liverpool then
 
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