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Jehovas Witnesses
- Thread starter Blue Mist
- Start date
M
M
mat
Guest
Just out of interest, what are these dangers of masturbation they speak of?
Danger wanks.
As in being caught during the baptism of teenage girls who are all instructed to wear white t-shirts and pants...
mrtwiceaseason
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 9 Oct 2011
- Messages
- 7,575
Just reminded me of my favourite joke.Just out of interest, what are these dangers of masturbation they speak of?
What's the most sensitive organs in the body whilst masturbating ?
Your ears !
At uni we had a housemate who was just really socially awkward. Lovely lad, great mate but put him on the spot with people he didn't know and he would just crumble and couldn't say no should anyone ask a favour. He used to laugh his head off after at the awkward situations he/we put him in.
Answered the door to 2 witnesses so called up to him that his mates were at the door. He came down to be collared by the 2 witnesses, didn't know what to say so the first words that came out of his mouth were "do you want to come in for a cuppa?" 3 hours later and they were still there, he even managed to invite them for lasagne th next day! Begged us not to answer the door when they returned the next day hahha!
Answered the door to 2 witnesses so called up to him that his mates were at the door. He came down to be collared by the 2 witnesses, didn't know what to say so the first words that came out of his mouth were "do you want to come in for a cuppa?" 3 hours later and they were still there, he even managed to invite them for lasagne th next day! Begged us not to answer the door when they returned the next day hahha!
1961_vintage
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 21 Sep 2009
- Messages
- 14,681
Just out of interest, what are these dangers of masturbation they speak of?
Power wanks. Popular in Salford apparently. But attach the wrong electrode to the wrong testicle and you're at serious risk of shorting.
chris63
Well-Known Member
My sister turned into a JW her husband didn't. Nice bloke i liked him. He hung himself in the garage.
Don't see a lot of her these days she's to busy with her cult friends. Suits me.
You can stick your jehovah up your f**king ars.
Don't see a lot of her these days she's to busy with her cult friends. Suits me.
You can stick your jehovah up your f**king ars.
steviemc
Well-Known Member
Ahem,,,no probs...it's No. 1 Doorslam lane. End Of The Worlld, TIT 5UP.My mate wants to have your address please.
Zubrman
Well-Known Member
I was sitting on a bus on the way home from work the other day when a nice young lady sitting behind me said, "Excuse me?"
Thinking my luck was in I turned to face her.
"My friend here would like to talk to you about Jesus Christ, our saviour," she said sweetly.
"Ooh, my lucky day!" I beamed.
"Ah, so you believe in Jesus Christ?"
"Hell no!" I snarled back.
They left me alone and started bothering some bloke who was then mumbling about being C of E.
Ruined my day, bastards.
Thinking my luck was in I turned to face her.
"My friend here would like to talk to you about Jesus Christ, our saviour," she said sweetly.
"Ooh, my lucky day!" I beamed.
"Ah, so you believe in Jesus Christ?"
"Hell no!" I snarled back.
They left me alone and started bothering some bloke who was then mumbling about being C of E.
Ruined my day, bastards.
malg
Well-Known Member
Not seen them for decades, then all of a sudden they've started doing the rounds. I'm always polite and just tell them I don't believe in God, and to be fair they just leave.