Life without kids??

[Ric]

Adolescence is great. I need a translator nowadays to understand my son when he talks to me.

Must admit I'm looking forward to the day where I have to wake them up.

 

[Rammy Blue]

Must admit I'm looking forward to the day where I have to wake them up.

Ha, it's a strange one as you think the day will never come where you don't have to get up early. Then suddenly, it's happened and you can't remember when. I still get up early but it's nice getting up of your own accord.

 

[UncleCTID]

I love em but find it hard work, especially the early years which are brutal at times. I found it a bit easier from about 6 onwards!

I've a 2 year old boy, and a 3month old girl, And it is hard work, I'm a year into running my own business too... Put it this way, I've slept more in my life! But I would not change a thing - In fact I'd take 10times more strife if I had to. "They change your life" doesn't quite explain it, they change the depth you experience everything; love, worry, pride, excitement... They are fuckin mint!!!

Sayin that I can't stay off bluemoon during transfer time for more than an hour at most! City losing still puts me in a mood that I end up feeling guilty for, incase its impacting on the kids without me knowing! And I had to give up my season ticket till the little mans old enough... But I can't wait to share City with em - god I hope they love it like I have

 

[WorsleyBlue]

I'm 43, I got engaged in 2000 and married my girl in 2005. We never had any children. I made a decision if I didn't have one at 40 I was never going to. My wife who is younger wanted one, so we did. One shot! Lethal like Aguero :) Anyway. After years of doing what we wanted, incredible hols, Hawaii, Miami were destinations. Nights out an meals every weekend, short breaks away, we had our son. He's now 2. It turned my life upside down. I stopped doing everything I liked and my wife changed completely. Life for us both is now all about our son. I miss some of the things I did before, in fact I miss a lot! But I created something with my wife that I now could not be more proud of. Everything he does amazes me. I have established a deeper love than I have ever known. It's been hard, would I have had a child younger? maybe, was I happy with my life before? I had a great life, but somehow it felt empty! One thing I know now, its harder , I had to grow up and been responsible, I know now my life will never, ever, again be empty! And that I will be very proud, not just now, but always. for that I'm incredibly thankful. Good luck with the decision.

 

[hilts]

A bit of a spin off from the too old thread but has anybody on here decided against having children?

Do you feel fulfilled?
Was it a joint decision with your partner?
Do you regret it?

I'm in a situation where in general I've always said that I don't want to have children. On the odd occasion my missus and I have "romanticised" about the prospect but in the end always decided that they are not for us.

Been with my missus over 10 years and in that time the subject has come up id say no mote than 3-4 times and never seriously either until now.

My wife wants us to try but I'm still seeing my future without children and looking forward to it too. However, I love her to bits and want get to be happy and it's very hard to basically tell her that she won't be a mother married to me.

Bit of a dilemma but I believe that if you both don't want children then you shouldn't have them.

In her defence she's never once demanded we try but I know she's feeling sad at the moment because I'm not willing to try.

So are kids really all that?

If you love the woman which you clearly do have a kid with her, I can't imagine how bad you will both feel when you pass the shit it's too late point, imagine in your 50's her feeling a bit resentful and you feeling a bit selfish. In a relationship your partners happiness is the most important thing.
If it doesn't work out I will adopt them for you.

* the last sentence is not a legal obligation

 

[Wretched Vengeance]

Had a good day with our lass discussing this type of thing.

I'll re-visit this thread tomorrow.

 

[SWP's back]

I've never been desperate for kids and I got lucky in the fact the girl I married is even more sure that she never wants kids than I am.

She's also a teacher, so gets her fill of the little fuckers every day at work.

I have noticed a running theme on this thread and amongst our friends that have had kids. The parents completely change, it's like a scary zombie/epidemic film where everyone infected suddenly can't hear their little sweethearts screaming in restaurants and think the rest of us need several pictoral updates of how their slug looks everyday on Facebook.

Big nope.

 

[Jazzman]

just saying, sometimes the pull to have children is stronger than the love between man and wife

Make no mistake about it. The relationship between man and woman is always weaker than the relationship between a woman and her children. In other words once you have children you are going to be the weakest member of the family.

 

[worsleyweb]

I've never been desperate for kids and I got lucky in the fact the girl I married is even more sure that she never wants kids than I am.

She's also a teacher, so gets her fill of the little fuckers every day at work.

I have noticed a running theme on this thread and amongst our friends that have had kids. The parents completely change, it's like a scary zombie/epidemic film where everyone infected suddenly can't hear their little sweethearts screaming in restaurants and think the rest of us need several pictoral updates of how their slug looks everyday on Facebook.

Big nope.

You will change your mind.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

It's never appealed to me, but that maybe due to my upbringing. Parents divorced at 7 etc.

I don't hate children, I feel as though they are on my level mentally.

Christ, at least my mum and dad waited till they were 32 and 36 respectively

 

[SWP's back]

You will change your mind.

First I want to say that this reply isn't meant to be any offence to you personally.

Having said that "oh you'll change your mind" is the most patronising thing that people with children can say.

I really won't, I have zero interest in having children and I speak for all childless couples when I say that we really couldn't give a shit for hearing about what little Johnny is up to now either.

Some (most) people want children, have children, are over the moon with their off spring. But there's a good proportion of us that are more than happy together without them. My sister is a born mother, it was her chosen vocation almost from the time she could form a sentence together. Her husband is a great father. I have three amazing nephews. I totally understand why some people want children, I really do and my eldest nephew is 11 and has been on the books at Blackburn for four years now and I beam with pride at his accomplishments. But after an hour with the fuckers I can't wait to get away.

Children aren't for everyone and I have lots of clients who are in their 50's and 60's, are nicely well off, have a great life and no sadness at not having had any.

It's personal preference I think.

 

[bluebaja]

I had 2 kids, they grew up, I remarried and had 3 more. I have therefore experienced adult life, in many ways, in both worlds. My view is neither is better. As SWP's back said, suits some and not others, and I don't believe either scenario is better overall, they are just very, very different. Hope you manage to sort it out, but whatever, don't have any regrets.

 

[r.soleofsalford]

Make no mistake about it. The relationship between man and woman is always weaker than the relationship between a woman and her children. In other words once you have children you are going to be the weakest member of the family.

I've never been desperate for kids and I got lucky in the fact the girl I married is even more sure that she never wants kids than I am.

She's also a teacher, so gets her fill of the little fuckers every day at work.

I have noticed a running theme on this thread and amongst our friends that have had kids. The parents completely change, it's like a scary zombie/epidemic film where everyone infected suddenly can't hear their little sweethearts screaming in restaurants and think the rest of us need several pictoral updates of how their slug looks everyday on Facebook.

Big nope.

Everybody to their own, thats including discipline my would never of created in a restaurant. I believed in smacking when the genuine need arises that includes the wife 8-)

 

[worsleyweb]

First I want to say that this reply isn't meant to be any offence to you personally.

Having said that "oh you'll change your mind" is the most patronising thing that people with children can say.

I really won't, I have zero interest in having children and I speak for all childless couples when I say that we really couldn't give a shit for hearing about what little Johnny is up to now either.

Some (most) people want children, have children, are over the moon with their off spring. But there's a good proportion of us that are more than happy together without them. My sister is a born mother, it was her chosen vocation almost from the time she could form a sentence together. Her husband is a great father. I have three amazing nephews. I totally understand why some people want children, I really do and my eldest nephew is 11 and has been on the books at Blackburn for four years now and I beam with pride at his accomplishments. But after an hour with the fuckers I can't wait to get away.

Children aren't for everyone and I have lots of clients who are in their 50's and 60's, are nicely well off, have a great life and no sadness at not having had any.

It's personal preference I think.

Fair enough. None of mine were planned and I can see when you are having a decent life the last thing you may want is the bombshell of kids but I have also seen a lot of successful people get to 40 and get the urge! Never say never.

 

[jay_mcfc]

First I want to say that this reply isn't meant to be any offence to you personally.

Having said that "oh you'll change your mind" is the most patronising thing that people with children can say.

I really won't, I have zero interest in having children and I speak for all childless couples when I say that we really couldn't give a shit for hearing about what little Johnny is up to now either.

Some (most) people want children, have children, are over the moon with their off spring. But there's a good proportion of us that are more than happy together without them. My sister is a born mother, it was her chosen vocation almost from the time she could form a sentence together. Her husband is a great father. I have three amazing nephews. I totally understand why some people want children, I really do and my eldest nephew is 11 and has been on the books at Blackburn for four years now and I beam with pride at his accomplishments. But after an hour with the fuckers I can't wait to get away.

Children aren't for everyone and I have lots of clients who are in their 50's and 60's, are nicely well off, have a great life and no sadness at not having had any.

It's personal preference I think.

You might not change your mind and you might think this is patronising but there's at least a decent chance your missus will. Women's hormones do weird things from the mid-thirties onwards and once the clock starts ticking the feelings will intensify.

 

[worsleyweb]

You might not change your mind and you might think this is patronising but there's at least a decent chance your missus will. Women's hormones do weird things from the mid-thirties onwards and once the clock starts ticking the feelings will intensify.

Very first date with my Mrs she says I don't do kids. Just left her to go to the gym. 3 kids sat in her bed eating spaghetti watching scooby do.

 

[the plasterer]

ive got 5 kids, 3 gran kids, another gran kid due next week, its been hard graft all my life, missed out on lots of things, lads holidays, concerts etc etc due to kids, but i personally wouldnt swap it for anything, each to their own of course

 

[OB1]

Must admit I'm looking forward to the day where I have to wake them up.

Don't be too sure.

 

[LWashington]

About 20 years ago when my niece was in Y7/Y8 got tasked with bringing her and a her mate from a football tournament. I'd had nothing to eat all day so I decided to pull into this little chef / wimpy (not sure if that's right feel free to correct me ) . We ordered and they both went to the bathroom. After about 10 mins my niece had come back no sign of her mate. So i asked her to go check.
She came back and said "she says she's having a massive dump" . Top of her voice.
Lets just say about half of the restaurant walked out.

 

[OB1]

Make no mistake about it. The relationship between man and woman is always weaker than the relationship between a woman and her children. In other words once you have children you are going to be the weakest member of the family.

This, I think, is almost inevitably true. The pull in the first place to be a mother and the bond they have with there children is natrually very strong.

We had children relatively late in life, in part because once we stopped taking precautions nothing happened. We got to a point where it "suddenly" became a big deal, especially for my wife. I was prepared to leave things to fate but she insisted we sought medical advice; no reason could be identified but started down the fertility treatment route, thankfully we never got to the point of deciding on IVF, which I was not in favour of. We didn't need to make that decision because the treatment helped; really helped because we ended up with twin girls, which we knew was a possibility because treatment involved injections to stimulate egg production; obviously the girls, who are now 15, are not identical twins.

I don't know what would have happened if we had not gone down the fertility treatment route and whether there would have been regrets but I can say that I have zero regrets about having children. The unconditional love that you feel the moment you first see them is quite incredible and does not go away. They do change your life and there are certainly ups and downs - teenage girls are something from another planet.

The main downside with kids is not that they put restrictions on your life or cost an absolute fortune but that you can never ever stop worrying about them. The upsides are many and various. Two highlights for me this last week were last night Twin 1, who is lot of a Mummy's girl, quite out of the blue asked me for a cuddle and curled up on the sofa while we watched a movie. Neither girl is what you would call much of a football fan but Twin 2 has been to some games this season, her first ones, and last Sunday was really keen to go to the Pep unveiling so we have a lovely day out doing just that, and it is a day out when you live 180 miles from the CFA. My family like to complain that I love City more than them but it ain't so, not even close, and that hopefully gives some perspective.