COVID-19 — Coronavirus

[kaz7]

Trump is about two days away from adopting good ole Doms’ ‘herd immunity’ strategy.

the americans dont know what is coming,he is being really irresponsable

 

[hello]

Groups of two - or more if they are related !

So collymore is travelling to Burnley then

 

[oakiecokie]

REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL
Dear Mr D.O the OakieCokie.
I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Abacha Tunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humor, but wants to come home.
In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15,000,000 American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 3,000,000 American Dollars. In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.

Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.

Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.
Bountiful thanks.
TLWYS.

You havn`t mentioned it but is it taxable before the balance arrives in my account.
Yours concerned
Oakiecokie.

 

[kaz7]

America figures

42,600 cases

541 dead

 

[KnaresboroughBlue]

Our local hardware/timber store boss knocked on my Dad’s door at about 21:30 this evening and told him they won’t be opening but he can go in and collect his order for the last job he’s got booked in next week. My Dad’s not going to be working (joiner) and he has no financial support from the Govt. Don’t know what he’ll do.

I’ve just given my Mother £200 so they have money for food at least. I mean they’ve probably got a fair bit in the bank, most likely a lot more than I have, but they’ve helped me out whenever I’ve been in need all my life so I thought I’d repay them.

Is he self-employed? If so, wouldn't he get the proposed new package (80% of last 3 years' earnings or £2917, whichever is lower)? That's assuming it passes.

 

[Vic]

So when can I leave the house?

Effective immediately, the government says you can go outside only for "very limited purposes"

• Shopping for basics necessities like food and medicine, with Downing Street saying you should do this "as infrequently as possible" and use food delivery services "where you can"
• One form of exercise a day, such as a run, walk or cycle. This can be done alone or with members of your household
• Any medical need, to give care or to help a vulnerable person
• Travelling to and from work, but only if this is "absolutely necessary" and cannot be done from home

"These four reasons are exceptions," the government's latest guidance says.

"Even when doing these activities, you should be minimising time spent outside of the home and ensuring you are 2m (6.5ft) apart from anyone outside of your household.

If you work in what the government has deemed a "critical sector", or your child has been identified as vulnerable, you can still to take your children to school

What about seeing friends and family?

If your friends ask to meet you, you should say no.

You should also not be meeting members of your family who do not live in your home.


All shops selling "non-essential" goods will be closed, as will a range of public spaces and venues.

This covers:

• Stores selling clothing and electronic stores
• Hair, beauty and nail salons
• Libraries, community centres and youth centres
• Playgrounds, outdoor gyms and sports courts
• Places of worship
• Outdoor and indoor markets, excluding food markets
• Bowling alleys, arcades and soft play facilities
• Hotels, hostels, bed and breakfasts, campsites, caravan parks, and boarding houses for
  commercial/leisure use. This excludes permanent residents and key workers

Public gatherings of more than two people are banned.

There are two exceptions to this, according to the government's guidance:

• Where the gathering is of a group of people who live together. For example, this means a parent can take their children to the shops if there is no option to leave them at home
• Where it is essential for work purposes. The guidance states that workers should try to minimise all meetings and other gatherings in the workplace.

All social events, including weddings, baptisms and other ceremonies, are also be banned - but funerals can go ahead with immediate members of family in attendance.

Parks will stay open for exercise, but gatherings there will be dispersed

How will the government enforce this?

Police will have powers to disperse gatherings, while anyone who is found not to be following the rules could be fined.

How long will these restrictions last for?

The PM said the restrictions will be "kept under constant review" and last for a minimum of three weeks.

At that point, the government will examine the evidence and see if they can be relaxed.

So a wedding this Saturday with 5 people present (minister, couple, witnesses) cannot take place?

 

[The Light Was Yellow Sir]

You havn`t mentioned it but is it taxable before the balance arrives in my account.
Yours concerned
Oakiecokie.

It is not, sir. It is eggsactly like winning the lotry but without any needing to buying a tiket.

 

[bluethrunthru]

Completely agree. It’s a nice idea but the reality is people will take the piss and it will be impossible to police. If they can get a few fines in early doors that would at least be a deterrent. Would be nice if they could get an on the spot fine and hand the cash over there and then.

what do you do when they haven't got the cash on them and you march them over to an ATM and they haven't got the funds to withdraw and pay?

 

[oakiecokie]

It is not, sir. It is eggsactly like winning the lotry but without any needing to buying a tiket.

Your English is amazing.Have you studied at Oxbridge ?

 

[twosips]

I suppose it depends on what he means by fairly soon. If they lock down for 3-4 weeks then they will pretty much cut the virus off at the knees. Everyone who was infected prior to lockdown will have recovered or be in intensive care. Everyone who went into lockdown with someone contagious would have shown symptoms and either have gotten over it or be in hospital.

So after 4 weeks, the number of active cases is tiny, and then in theory if you tested everyone often and had a very good track and trace, combined with social responsibilities then you could probably lift lockdowns.

I think Britain will be in lockdown for about a month, and then we will go back to our social distancing from before tonight's announcement, and then it might flare up again at some point and we'll have to go back in lock down for a bit....rinse and repeat Until August.

When you say lockdown do you mean a proper lockdown or this near one we've got now? Because this one we've got will still spread it loads. Hundreds of thousands will be in close contact with colleagues and commuters every single day. Then take it home to their families.