Joke thread

Mark Knopfler comes home carrying a large picture frame and a bag of chips.

His missus says, " What've you been up to?"

He replies, "I was at the Auction House and got a rare French Impressionist painting and I got you something from the chippy on the way home."

"How much have you spent this time?"

"Nowt." says Mark, "I got the Monet for nothing and the chips for free."
 
The Black Shed said:
Three gnus in a forest.

Mummy gnu says to daddy gnu 'darling, we're running low on food, would you be a love and pop out and get some for us? Thanks sweetie'. 'Sure thing' says daddy gnu, 'love you all, see ya soon' and off he trots.

Two weeks pass and there's no sign of daddy gnu returning. 'Mummy I'm really hungry, says baby gnu'. 'OK, it looks like daddy gnu has got lost, I'll go out and get some food. We've eaten everything here and the cupboards are bare'. 'Love you mummy gnu, come back soon'. And off trots mummy gnu into the forest.

Two weeks later and mummy gnu isn't coming back. Baby gnu decides he really has to leave home and find some food, he's starving. So off he trots into the forest.

'Well, that's the end of the gnus, now it's time for the weather - Angela, will it rain again tonight?'
Click to expand...

Shit….but I like it. :)
 
bluemoon32 said:
Mark Knopfler comes home carrying a large picture frame and a bag of chips.

His missus says, " What've you been up to?"

He replies, "I was at the Auction House and got a rare French Impressionist painting and I got you something from the chippy on the way home."

"How much have you spent this time?"

"Nowt." says Mark, "I got the Monet for nothing and the chips for free."
Click to expand...
I thank u
 
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