Joke thread

Made me chuckle from viz:

One for the ladies - tell a copper that you’re pregnant and that you need a piss. And under an old law, he's got to put his cloak round a pregnant woman and let her piss in his hat. When you've done, tell him that you're not really pregnant and watch his face. He can't arrest you unless he's in uniform, and he's technically out of uniform if he's not wearing his hat. And he can't put that on because it's full of your piss. He'll be fuming but he'll know there's fuck all he can do.
 
Uwe Already said:
Made me chuckle from viz:

One for the ladies - tell a copper that you’re pregnant and that you need a piss. And under an old law, he's got to put his cloak round a pregnant woman and let her piss in his hat. When you've done, tell him that you're not really pregnant and watch his face. He can't arrest you unless he's in uniform, and he's technically out of uniform if he's not wearing his hat. And he can't put that on because it's full of your piss. He'll be fuming but he'll know there's fuck all he can do.
Click to expand...
That’s certain to be accurate.
 
"Mummy, is the babysitter a robot?"
"No of course not dear, why would you think that?"
"Because I heard Daddy tell Uncle Pete that he screwed the ass off her".
 
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