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No one. I like my own company thank you very much.

You wake up tomorrow morning and you are the only person on Earth alive, there is no sign of anyone anywhere. All the lights are on in the shops, the traffic lights are working, you still have electricity etc. What would you do?

One day there was a little green man who came home from his little green job. He got to his little green door, opened it, stepped inside, hung up his little green coat and decided to run his little green bath while he drank a little cup of green tea. As soon as his little green bath was full...

I was in Tesco's yesterday buying some Ready Brek when these two women came up to me and said "Can we have your autograph Mr Clooney?" I signed for them as I didn't want them to go away disappointed, probably made their day. It's a curse being good looking and having a doppelganger.

Always wondered what drone looked like Bill.

Regarding DDG he won't exactly starve, being on (a reported) 300k a week.

Thread bump. Keep 'em coming, nearly there now.

I have the best job in the world. I'm a lolipop man. I didn't start till I was 65

Funny story about this. About twenty years ago we were in Malta and I needed to go to a money exchange shop, so a Maltese person said "There's one on in St Julians on xxxx Street next to the Subway. At this time we had never heard of Subway, so spent half an hour doing up and down this busy...

Wordle 894 3/6 ⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛

Great lyrics that tell a story in a short song. I never thought it would happen With me and the girl from Clapham Out on a windy common That night I ain’t forgotten When she dealt out the rations With some or other passions I said you are a lady "Perhaps" she said "I may be". We moved into a...

My Geordie girlfriend was in the swimming pool and smiled at the handsome lifeguard as he walked by. He said “Are you flirting?” She replied “No, my feet are on the bottom”.

Only 40 more posts then I can hand my findings over to Manchester University, so they can run the results through their computer. It's not rocket science, Heads or tails ffs! Too many busy cunts on this thread for my liking. Any more I'm going to ask Ric to issue some perma bans. :)

Math v Maths ?

Quentin Crisp, third row, right hand side He looks a rum bugger, 2nd row, fifth from the left.

6 minutes 10secs in....Tossers.

Keep the thread going, I need 100 replies so I can come to an ultimate conclusion. Please re read my initial post carefully, and just follow the instructions. This is a serious mathematical experiment.