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Barefaced lying. Bad manners. Lack of respect. Football's core is becoming more rotten by the day.

Will you shout 'eez important, eez important' when you hit the spot?

Eh, there's nowt quite like that farty backdraft when th'wind's whistling down Hillgate

He's probably got a little cottage industry going up there in his attic. Buys hundreds of pairs of cheapo plastic shoes, scuffs them up a bit, sticks on a bit of dried grass with Pritt Stick, and job's a good 'un!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (sorry, don't do 'LOL')<br /><br />-- Fri Dec 10, 2010 11:52 am --<br /><br />The sausages were very salty, though, come to think of it...

Paul Power Shower always makes me chuckle.

Advocaat. The aroma of school custard and the consistency of sputum. Surely there can't be a worse drink than this dayglo Christmas 'treat'?

One of the worst days of my life. This snippet from today's Daily Mail has brought it all back :-(

She's Gone - Daryl Hall and John Oates

My inheritance is going to Save-The-Urangutan, you money-grabbing leeches.

It was £15 for adults and £12 for kids, and included the Santa suit, kids' activities, discount in City store and a goodie bag. Thought it sounded a bit steep when I first shelled out but, having been on the Stroll, I reckon it was decent value for money. Kids had a blast and have gone to bed...

Re: Photos From Santa Stroll (including Mancini, Cook, Boyata) Me and the kids had a great time at the Santa Stroll today. Weather pretty mild, actually (although a bit slushy underfoot) and plenty of activities to keep the sprogs entertained. Well done to Lakey and the rest of the community...

...in our house it was the Three Stooges or Laurel and Hardy :-)

Circling programmes to watch/record in the Radio Times (never buy it Jan-Nov)

In a taste test this week the best pud turned out to be from Lidl! A lot of their Christmas food is top-notch, tbf; got loads of good stuff from there last year and will be paying a trip to chav central in the next couple of days.

I didn't notice that really...too busy wondering whether Sepp Blatter has the shiniest head in Europe

I would suggest that taking the piss out of someone's working class accent is arrogant; I eagerly await your thoughts on Eddie's pronunciation of 'Manchestoh.'

Yeah, 'cause they're all jacked up on vodka...

1. If I Fell 2. Please Please Me 3. Things We Said Today 4. And Your Bird Can Sing 5. Got To Get You Into My Life 6. Taxman 7. Revolution 8. Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight 9. Tomorrow Never Knows 10. Dear Prudence 11. Day in the Life 12. Helter Skelter 13. The Long and Winding Road Well...

All the cliches come out at this time of year. Roads aren't blocked, they're 'impassable'. Weather conditions aren't bad, they're 'inclement'...