The garlic baguette "incident" was actually just a horrific accident, she was trying to fend off an aggressive begger who insisted she handed him her underwear and there was a struggle, there was an out of court settlement via Domino's as the begger was actually your mother's estranged husband (I assume your father, but you never know with your mother) who was a veteran of Domino's staff, until he was unceremoniously given the axe due to adding his "personal cheese" to the quarter pounders of regular customers.
Domino's accepted liability, and the case against my mother was thrown out.
You seem to gain some perverse thrill undermining my mother, whereas yours still insists that I attend to her weekly "Bum Fun" desires even since the breakdown of her marriage.
And you can expect a little brother soon my friend. We've already decided that his name will be "Mr Kipling", though as you can imagine your mother was responsible for the majority of the input.