Alcohol, hints, tips, advice etc.

[oldius]

My children's mum drank herself to death - the devastation was terrible.

 

[shackattack]

Rehab is not always the definitive answer to someone with a drinking problem. They need to possibly change their whole social circle and way of life. It's a tough decision and many will relapse as they progress. It's learning from that and doing things differently that will help them achieve whatever they wish. The body has an ability to recover amazingly but the person has to be motivated towards change. Some need a lot of support, others need very little. The help is out there but ultimately we make a choice. We also have to change how others view us and percieve us, quite often low esteem is a big factor in some misusing drugs and alcohol.

 

[willipp]

About a year ago I got a similar text of by golf partner. He was going into the priory(where he stayed three months)
I had no idea things were so bad, I regularly drank with him, but i didn't realise he couldn't stop during the week or at home.
He has stopped playing golf and i never see him now. I have sent him texts and phoned him, but i think his wife doesn't want him near me. Feel a bit guilty, as if i am a bit to blame.
His firm paid for his rehab, but have now ditched him.
I would have liked to have given him more support, but as long as he keeps getting better and is healthy, probably best if I give him the space. The fact that no one sees him now must make life tough though.

This really resonates with me totally. My two very best friends from being young (primary school) have both gone this exact same way. One i am really happy for and the other drives me mad. We always enjoyed a drink as lads growing up and where as i generally had it under control, one got a job in london and following years of london life in the building trade clearly had serious issues with booze. Nearly ruined his marriage and kids and eventually culminated in a total breakdown and being admitted to the priory for 2 months. He stuck with it and thankfully is a recovering alcaholic who as far as i know never touches a drop. That was probably 10 years ago and since he got admitted to the priory i've seen him once. His wife cut him off from that element of his life and i went from having a best mate to a complete stranger in a matter of weeks. In all honesty though i never realised his problems and once i did, i am totally happy in the direction it went as he is off the booze and happy in his life with his wfe and kids. I was part of that problem and i realised it was for the best that he cut that element of his life out whilst he recovered. In the last year we have just started texting again and the odd chat on the phone so hopefully we get back to being mates again of a sort.

My other friend was very different. His marriage went down the pan, he lived a miserable life and alienated friends with his behaviour and nearly drank himself to death. He finally met another woman who he had a kid with and seemed to be getting life back on track. Started to see him again and i was god parent to his child. However the booze kicked in again for him, his relationship with his child and partner fell apart and he totally cut himself off from his mates again. He met a new woman who stopped him seeing his friends and daughter and in the last 6 years havent heard a single thing from him. After 40 years of friendship, he just disappeared like he never existed.

Bottom line is, alcahol ruins so many lives. Not just the person drinking, but those of partners, kids, family and friends. I send them both messages on a regular basis asking how they are and trying to show how supportive id be. One is a recovered alcaholic and i get a reply now, one still drinks and i never hear anything from.

 

[asahartford1]

This really resonates with me totally. My two very best friends from being young (primary school) have both gone this exact same way. One i am really happy for and the other drives me mad. We always enjoyed a drink as lads growing up and where as i generally had it under control, one got a job in london and following years of london life in the building trade clearly had serious issues with booze. Nearly ruined his marriage and kids and eventually culminated in a total breakdown and being admitted to the priory for 2 months. He stuck with it and thankfully is a recovering alcaholic who as far as i know never touches a drop. That was probably 10 years ago and since he got admitted to the priory i've seen him once. His wife cut him off from that element of his life and i went from having a best mate to a complete stranger in a matter of weeks. In all honesty though i never realised his problems and once i did, i am totally happy in the direction it went as he is off the booze and happy in his life with his wfe and kids. I was part of that problem and i realised it was for the best that he cut that element of his life out whilst he recovered. In the last year we have just started texting again and the odd chat on the phone so hopefully we get back to being mates again of a sort.

My other friend was very different. His marriage went down the pan, he lived a miserable life and alienated friends with his behaviour and nearly drank himself to death. He finally met another woman who he had a kid with and seemed to be getting life back on track. Started to see him again and i was god parent to his child. However the booze kicked in again for him, his relationship with his child and partner fell apart and he totally cut himself off from his mates again. He met a new woman who stopped him seeing his friends and daughter and in the last 6 years havent heard a single thing from him. After 40 years of friendship, he just disappeared like he never existed.

Bottom line is, alcahol ruins so many lives. Not just the person drinking, but those of partners, kids, family and friends. I send them both messages on a regular basis asking how they are and trying to show how supportive id be. One is a recovered alcaholic and i get a reply now, one still drinks and i never hear anything from.

Yep, I realise I was part of the problem, and share some blame and guilt. Having admitted that, I find it easier to get on with it.

 

[crublue1]

Rehab is not always the definitive answer to someone with a drinking problem. They need to possibly change their whole social circle and way of life. It's a tough decision and many will relapse as they progress. It's learning from that and doing things differently that will help them achieve whatever they wish. The body has an ability to recover amazingly but the person has to be motivated towards change. Some need a lot of support, others need very little. The help is out there but ultimately we make a choice. We also have to change how others view us and percieve us, quite often low esteem is a big factor in some misusing drugs and alcohol.

Good post

 

[kinkyblue]

I've never thought of it before but that's right about Thursday's. My Platoon always went out together on a Thursday night when in the UK, no exemptions were allowed, probably because most of us cleared off home on a Friday. It didn't happen in Germany though.

Every night in BAOR!

 

[shilly8903]

This really resonates with me totally. My two very best friends from being young (primary school) have both gone this exact same way. One i am really happy for and the other drives me mad. We always enjoyed a drink as lads growing up and where as i generally had it under control, one got a job in london and following years of london life in the building trade clearly had serious issues with booze. Nearly ruined his marriage and kids and eventually culminated in a total breakdown and being admitted to the priory for 2 months. He stuck with it and thankfully is a recovering alcaholic who as far as i know never touches a drop. That was probably 10 years ago and since he got admitted to the priory i've seen him once. His wife cut him off from that element of his life and i went from having a best mate to a complete stranger in a matter of weeks. In all honesty though i never realised his problems and once i did, i am totally happy in the direction it went as he is off the booze and happy in his life with his wfe and kids. I was part of that problem and i realised it was for the best that he cut that element of his life out whilst he recovered. In the last year we have just started texting again and the odd chat on the phone so hopefully we get back to being mates again of a sort.

My other friend was very different. His marriage went down the pan, he lived a miserable life and alienated friends with his behaviour and nearly drank himself to death. He finally met another woman who he had a kid with and seemed to be getting life back on track. Started to see him again and i was god parent to his child. However the booze kicked in again for him, his relationship with his child and partner fell apart and he totally cut himself off from his mates again. He met a new woman who stopped him seeing his friends and daughter and in the last 6 years havent heard a single thing from him. After 40 years of friendship, he just disappeared like he never existed.

Bottom line is, alcahol ruins so many lives. Not just the person drinking, but those of partners, kids, family and friends. I send them both messages on a regular basis asking how they are and trying to show how supportive id be. One is a recovered alcaholic and i get a reply now, one still drinks and i never hear anything from.

I've battled my addictions throughout my whole adult life, I alienated myself with a lot my friends because of my behaviour as my addiction progressed. Friends of 25years, I'm 32 as sad as it was only then was I able to stop, also with help of narcotics anonymous and such. The friends that I hadn't alienated I just don't contact them anymore as that's when I use or drink again I tell myself I want to go out with them and do the "fun" things they do, but actually I don't its my addiction telling me that I do. There's no fun involved for me anymore in drinking just consequences. Hopefully once I gets a couple years clean and sober I may be able to get my friendships back without putting me at risk. Right now my wife and children are what keep me sane and happy. I would love to be one of those people that can drink sensibly but I'm not, bad things happen. I've tried every way possible. I'm guessing your friends have similar demons as me.

 

[ballbag]

I do hope this thread helps at least one person. Its an awful situation to be in for the person suffering from the drink and to all the people they care for and care about them.

We blame ourselves for it (rightly or wrongly in some cases), and punish ourselves so much it hinders the progress we can make. The sense of guilt is overwhelming at times too. And I remember trying to find a reason to stop...for ages. That reason will be different for every one. But the guilt and dread will be familiar. Don't let that eat you up and make it worse. The people who you think will be rid of you for owning up to your problems will most probably be the ones that stick by you most and help.

 

[willipp]

I've battled my addictions throughout my whole adult life, I alienated myself with a lot my friends because of my behaviour as my addiction progressed. Friends of 25years, I'm 32 as sad as it was only then was I able to stop, also with help of narcotics anonymous and such. The friends that I hadn't alienated I just don't contact them anymore as that's when I use or drink again I tell myself I want to go out with them and do the "fun" things they do, but actually I don't its my addiction telling me that I do. There's no fun involved for me anymore in drinking just consequences. Hopefully once I gets a couple years clean and sober I may be able to get my friendships back without putting me at risk. Right now my wife and children are what keep me sane and happy. I would love to be one of those people that can drink sensibly but I'm not, bad things happen. I've tried every way possible. I'm guessing your friends have similar demons as me.

Yeah i think it needs support right across the board for people and sometimes that involves distancing yourself from people who potentially bring out the worst in you. If your family get you through it then thats what it takes and your mates will hopefully understand. Sounds like you are on the right path and the fact you have family and kids to support you and im sure helps more than anything.

 

[goldcoastblue]

Ive been an on and off alcoholic. I can give it up at a drop of a hat in the past. I tried to give up on sunday night but ive slept about 9 hours since then. Succumbed and bought a bottle of wine to help me sleep. I know its wrong but ive got a date tomorrow (no pics, no updates ya cunts) and i want to last the full night. Its hard but ill start again this weekemd after the match of course