I know i have messages i haven't replied to from earlier this year when i posted distraught unable to cope with carrying on after losing mum in June, i'm sorry i didn't reply - i so very much appreciated the support, i just didn't log in here for months and months, and after that felt i couldn't face replying. But i appreciate the love you all gave me.
Mum's name was in the memorial programme today, and i frantically watched for her name to flash up on the advertising around the ground - i just spotted it and managed to film so my sister could see the movie, i wish i'd managed a better film or even a photo of mums name in the silence/applause, but i was there, with my son, that's what counts. I might find a photo or movie online.
We chose this match to also finally put mum in the obituaries of the programme, so she' s in with a lovely picture (as well as being listed on the memorial page), i worded what i felt was a heartfelt tribute, and we're very proud to give her that send off in the programme. The wording conjures up my memories and makes me smile as well as cry, which is how it should be.
I've done ok this year, carried on in the end... as you do... having little wobbles at the thought of 2024 being a year mum didn't exist in - while we're in 2023 it feels like she was here, she knew 2023, she doesn't know 2024, it's finally all over as we tick to the new year.
But mum knew she was the most loved brilliant person there is - and i miss her so much, but i've carried on, for my boy and for me - she'd want me to.
I love you mum.
And to the forum - thank you again for the support in the summer. Best wishes to all of you and your families.
