Aren't (some) women mental?

Lucky Toma said:
Women are full-on mentalists. I've got a proper nut-job on my case at the moment who is genuinely making my life a fucking misery.

She used to plague me with texts and e-mails until I had to lie to her and say I was back with my ex and moving to Brighton.

That solved the problem.

But then I saw on her Facebook page she had the flu so - just being nice - I sent her a text saying I hope she was okay.

BANG it all started again.

Stupidly last week I began to flirt back because its been a few weeks since I last had any sex and I was feeling frisky.
Had an invite on Sunday to a wedding and I could bring a plus-one.
So, thinking 'sod it, I may as well get some sex to go with the constant pestering' (I was basically getting all the downsides of a relationship without any of the benefits) I took her along.

At the end of the night all I got was a smooch but that was fine by me because we enjoyed ourselves and I'd started to delude myself she was normal so I might just see her again.

Oh dear God no. How wrong was I!!! Over the past two days I've had over fifty texts and forty e-mails.
She's told me about how she's noticing the colours of the leaves on the autumn trees. How she's never felt this way before. How she can't stop thinking about me and our kiss.

She has also decided we are going out to the cinema this weekend and the way she's saying stuff its very apparent in her head we are now firmly a couple.

I could just tell her to fuck off but....she's mental and I'm a bit scared of her.
Click to expand...

boner her ......................... then the speach! "its not you, its me"...... make sure you knob her frist, you will feel better.
 
Lucky Toma said:
Women are full-on mentalists. I've got a proper nut-job on my case at the moment who is genuinely making my life a fucking misery.

She used to plague me with texts and e-mails until I had to lie to her and say I was back with my ex and moving to Brighton.

That solved the problem.

But then I saw on her Facebook page she had the flu so - just being nice - I sent her a text saying I hope she was okay.

BANG it all started again.

Stupidly last week I began to flirt back because its been a few weeks since I last had any sex and I was feeling frisky.
Had an invite on Sunday to a wedding and I could bring a plus-one.
So, thinking 'sod it, I may as well get some sex to go with the constant pestering' (I was basically getting all the downsides of a relationship without any of the benefits) I took her along.

At the end of the night all I got was a smooch but that was fine by me because we enjoyed ourselves and I'd started to delude myself she was normal so I might just see her again.

Oh dear God no. How wrong was I!!! Over the past two days I've had over fifty texts and forty e-mails.
She's told me about how she's noticing the colours of the leaves on the autumn trees. How she's never felt this way before. How she can't stop thinking about me and our kiss.

She has also decided we are going out to the cinema this weekend and the way she's saying stuff its very apparent in her head we are now firmly a couple.

I could just tell her to fuck off but....she's mental and I'm a bit scared of her.
Click to expand...
Hmmm, yours is an interesting case Toma. Answer me his, does she swallow?
 
citykev28 said:
toma, your ongoing saga with the opposite sex is a soap opera i dread missing an episode of.
Click to expand...

Hahaha at least I dont need any advice with this one mate. Just thought I'd make it public so if my body is found you know who the culprit will be and tell the police to check my phone for the person who's sent me a thousand texts in a week.

The girl and her mates are proper ladettes who boast about getting revenge on exes and guys who have hurt them.
(Okay so I may be exaggerating about my imminent demise but still....scary stuff)

At least she's not as bad as the girl from three weeks back who - just moments before we got down to it - informed me that she once had an ex kneecapped and put in hospital. Put me right off my game.


Pige, I reckon she might well be a swallower but to her that would mean we were now man and wife.
 
Lucky Toma said:
citykev28 said:
toma, your ongoing saga with the opposite sex is a soap opera i dread missing an episode of.
Click to expand...

Hahaha at least I dont need any advice with this one mate. Just thought I'd make it public so if my body is found you know who the culprit will be and tell the police to check my phone for the person who's sent me a thousand texts in a week.

The girl and her mates are proper ladettes who boast about getting revenge on exes and guys who have hurt them.
(Okay so I may be exaggerating about my imminent demise but still....scary stuff)

At least she's not as bad as the girl from three weeks back who - just moments before we got down to it - informed me that she once had an ex kneecapped and put in hospital. Put me right off my game.
Click to expand...


To be fair mate that's enough to throw anyone off their game.
 
Lucky Toma said:
citykev28 said:
toma, your ongoing saga with the opposite sex is a soap opera i dread missing an episode of.
Click to expand...

Hahaha at least I dont need any advice with this one mate. Just thought I'd make it public so if my body is found you know who the culprit will be and tell the police to check my phone for the person who's sent me a thousand texts in a week.

The girl and her mates are proper ladettes who boast about getting revenge on exes and guys who have hurt them.
(Okay so I may be exaggerating about my imminent demise but still....scary stuff)

At least she's not as bad as the girl from three weeks back who - just moments before we got down to it - informed me that she once had an ex kneecapped and put in hospital. Put me right off my game.


Pige, I reckon she might well be a swallower but to her that would mean we were now man and wife.
Click to expand...
Tis worth it.
 
Lucky Toma said:
citykev28 said:
toma, your ongoing saga with the opposite sex is a soap opera i dread missing an episode of.
Click to expand...

Hahaha at least I dont need any advice with this one mate. Just thought I'd make it public so if my body is found you know who the culprit will be and tell the police to check my phone for the person who's sent me a thousand texts in a week.

The girl and her mates are proper ladettes who boast about getting revenge on exes and guys who have hurt them.
(Okay so I may be exaggerating about my imminent demise but still....scary stuff)

At least she's not as bad as the girl from three weeks back who - just moments before we got down to it - informed me that she once had an ex kneecapped and put in hospital. Put me right off my game.


Pige, I reckon she might well be a swallower but to her that would mean we were now man and wife.
Click to expand...

Once again world class stuff from Dr Lucky!
You are my favourite poster by a country mile mate, keep up the good work!
 
mackenzie said:
Maybe she doesn't want to sit in with Paula?

Just a thought.
Click to expand...
Very reasonable deduction.

But what was wrong with using language to explain this faux pa on the OP's part? As opposed to the 5 day tirade that this will unavoidably turn into.
 
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