Bad Gag Thread

Two women on thier way homefrom a night out stop in a grave yard for a piss, one wipes with her knickers the other uses a wreath. Thier husbands meet up next day in the pub, one says "I'd better watch my wife she came home with out her knickers last night". The other replies "thats nothing mine came home with a card wedged in her arse saying we will never forget you from all the boys at the fire station".
 
what do you call a man, hoovering his house at midnight, with a kestrel on one shoulder, and a hawk on the other?

hawk kestrel man hoovers in the dark.
 
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