Bereavement

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PinkFinal

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I'm starting this thread for anyone who is struggling after bereavement.

I lost my mum last night. She was 75. She was having breathing problems and was in hospital. She was all set for release but suddenly took a turn for the worst.

I think I've accepted it. Been crying lots but now feel numb. It doesn't seem real. Here one moment gone the next.
I'm glad I was there when she passed and that I said what I had to.

Been thinking about my childhood and everything my mum did for me. Of course I feel regretful for all the times I put her through grief. But she wasn't perfect, no one is.


Was reading this so much good advice.

https://support.sueryder.org/practical-emotional-advice/how-can-i-cope-bereavement
 
PinkFinal said:
I'm starting this thread for anyone who is struggling after bereavement.

I lost my mum last night. She was 75. She was having breathing problems and was in hospital. She was all set for release but suddenly took a turn for the worst.

I think I've accepted it. Been crying lots but now feel numb. It doesn't seem real. Here one moment gone the next.
I'm glad I was there when she passed and that I said what I had to.

Been thinking about my childhood and everything my mum did for me. Of course I feel regretful for all the times I put her through grief. But she wasn't perfect, no one is.


Was reading this so much good advice.

https://support.sueryder.org/practical-emotional-advice/how-can-i-cope-bereavement
Click to expand...



So sorry for your loss.
Lost my mother and my Dad in the last 18 months but they were both a good age 87 and 94. Both had had a rough few years towards the end so as sad as it was it was also a mercy. The grief fades away but the sadness stays mixed with happier thoughts from the past.
 
PinkFinal said:
I'm starting this thread for anyone who is struggling after bereavement.

I lost my mum last night. She was 75. She was having breathing problems and was in hospital. She was all set for release but suddenly took a turn for the worst.

I think I've accepted it. Been crying lots but now feel numb. It doesn't seem real. Here one moment gone the next.
I'm glad I was there when she passed and that I said what I had to.

Been thinking about my childhood and everything my mum did for me. Of course I feel regretful for all the times I put her through grief. But she wasn't perfect, no one is.


Was reading this so much good advice.

https://support.sueryder.org/practical-emotional-advice/how-can-i-cope-bereavement
Click to expand...
So sorry for your loss pal lost mine recently you never get over it you just have to get on with it for the sake of your own family, I think daily of her and would give anything to hear her voice again, it's a pain like I've never felt before,I still shed a tear once they've gone to bed if I see something on tv that reminds me of her take care m8 it's a difficult time
 
PinkFinal said:
I'm starting this thread for anyone who is struggling after bereavement.

I lost my mum last night. She was 75. She was having breathing problems and was in hospital. She was all set for release but suddenly took a turn for the worst.

I think I've accepted it. Been crying lots but now feel numb. It doesn't seem real. Here one moment gone the next.
I'm glad I was there when she passed and that I said what I had to.

Been thinking about my childhood and everything my mum did for me. Of course I feel regretful for all the times I put her through grief. But she wasn't perfect, no one is.


Was reading this so much good advice.

https://support.sueryder.org/practical-emotional-advice/how-can-i-cope-bereavement
Click to expand...
Sorry for your loss mate.
 
I know exactly what youre feeling as i lost my mum almost two years ago now,she was only 68.Nothing can prepare you for such and without doubt it changes everything,i have felt an emptiness ever since.

I guess time does make things easier but i doubt a day will pass without you thinking about her and her influence on you,more than anything i just miss her being there whenever i needed a chat or a shoulder to lean/cry on.

If you have a wife/partner then make sure you chat,don't bottle anything up and remember the good times,cry as much as you want.Take care pal.
 
Sorry for your loss.

Lost my mum this summer just a couple of years older than yours but with roughly the same issues.

I think about her almost everyday, she had a thing about the weather.

Remember there's no shame in shedding a year or two.

Take care.
 
Sorry for your loss and everyone else who has lost somebody recently. My friend recently lost his Mum and his attitude was “at least I had all that quality time with her, some folk don’t have half as much as I’ve had”. It really struck a chord with me although my parents are getting to the age when I have to consider them passing. It is something I’m dreading tbh.
 
Lost my mum to cancer when I was 19 she was 50. Completely ruined my life for a number of years, hate March it has mothers day, the day she died, and her birthday in the same month. Never gets any easier especially missing key moments like the birth of my son ect. If my Mum had lived into her 70s I would probably be living a completely different life.

Sorry for your lost hope you can take solitude in the fact you spent many great years together. Mums are irreplaceable for men in my opinion keep you very grounded.
 
I think there might be something wrong with me, but I've lost both my grandparents and my father and I didn't shed a tear when any of them passed. I can't say I was honestly that sad either which is really weird. It's not like we didn't get on or anything - we did! I just didn't find it very emotional for some strange reason. At my Dad's funeral, my Mum saw that I wasn't crying and asked "Aren't you upset" and I had to pretend I was heartbroken, when really I wasn't. I get more emotional watching DIY SOS with Nick Knowles. Strange, I know.
 
So sorry for your loss. I lost my old fella about 18 months ago. He was just short of his 69th birthday. As a smoker his lungs, etc were knackered and a fall just finished him off. I spent the last few days with him and was with him through his final night and early morning. My 2 brothers couldn't hack but thank god my wife stayed with me for the support. Strangely, well I think so anyway, after the initial couple of hours straight after he went I was OK. The funeral was a breeze for me. It was on NYE, about 3 months later, I was in the pub with a crowd when I bumped into an old mate of mine who had lost his father about the same time. I just went to pieces and sat in the car park for a bit. Since then I've had a few moments.
It taught me life's too short and perhaps it isn't always best to put things off. I also appreciate that a few very old friends went out of their to show up at the funeral, etc.
There is no one size fits all on this type of thing as you can probably see from the responses thus far. I do wish you all the best.
 
Indaparkside said:
So sorry for your loss pal lost mine recently you never get over it you just have to get on with it for the sake of your own family, I think daily of her and would give anything to hear her voice again, it's a pain like I've never felt before,I still shed a tear once they've gone to bed if I see something on tv that reminds me of her take care m8 it's a difficult time
Click to expand...
I agree with every word you say PARKSIDE.
its been 4 years since I lost my dear mother.
My heart goes out to anybody who as lost a live one.
C.T.I.D
 
My Auntie was more like a Mum to me and she died in 2005....I talk to her every night ....

Sad when they go.......horrible.
 
Lost my mum to cancer on tge 29th december.
She was 54.
Dont know how to put into how hard it is.
Time helps apparently
 
So sorry for your loss, PinkFinal. Lost my mum aged 72 just 2 months ago, somewhat suddenly although she had been deteriorating these past few years. She was an amazing woman, raised the 4 of us boys herself since our Dad died from Cancer when I was 14 (I'm the eldest). Since I moved to the States some 20 years ago I didn't get to see her as often as I would have liked, but was able to convince here to fly over to see us and her grandkids for a couple of weeks around Halloween last year. She literally passed away 10 days after she got back home to Manchester. I knew in my heart when we hugged goodbye at the airport it would be the last hug from my mum.
I feel extremely blessed that we all got to see her that last time, and it eases the pain to a degree, but I still have those sudden pangs of grief and the "I still can't believe she's not here" moments. It's especially hard driving to work every morning. I have about a 30 minute drive and would call my mum at least 2, sometimes 3 times a week and we'd chat the whole way. I miss that the most.
Flying over for her funeral this past Christmas was tough, very tough. It was so heartwarming though to see not only my 3 brothers but so many old family and friends that I hadn't seen for almost 2 decades. That in itself brought tears to my eyes. She was so, so loved. Whilst we were over for the funeral I got lucky and was able to snag a bunch of seats for the Tottenham game. I took all the family out to the match that night, their first ever for my 2 little ones, and we sang, cheered, drank and laughed. She would have been so, so happy seeing us all together like that, her 4 boys whom she doted on her whole life re-united at that moment. That, for us, was the perfect sendoff.
 
Franny 1234 said:
I agree with every word you say PARKSIDE.
its been 4 years since I lost my dear mother.
My heart goes out to anybody who as lost a live one.
C.T.I.D
Click to expand...
Do you know what pal she used to phone me when I visited her to see if I got home ok but obviously I was driving so deleted the messages then just rang her to say yes mum home etc, don't have any videos anything should have kept the messages:-( in the pub now had about 6 pints so welling up so will leave it.Honestly pal would give everything I've got to spend 5 more mins with her just to say to anybody reading this tell them everyday you love them wish I could :-( :-( :-(
 
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