Best Alan Partridge Quotes

ConnorMCFC

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Joined
7 Sep 2008
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Middleton
mines has got to be

"T.V. is a dead duck, and who watches a dead duck? Not even its mother it just flies away depressed"

yours?
 
The radio shows were brilliant, by the time it got to tv thought it was getting a bit tired but still some great moments.

A favourite bit for me

Alan
I've read all of them. Read all of them. I love Sherlock Holmes. I've got all his books, leather-bound. What I thought was great about Sherlock Holmes was that not only was he, er, a supersleuth, he was also a hard worker. 'Cause, not only did he go out and solve the crimes, he came home and wrote it all down. Fantastic. That, that's why I admire him.
Lawrence
Yes. I've always thought it was a shame that Conan Doyle had to kill him off.
Alan
No, I think you'll find it was Moriarty that killed him.
Lawrence
Yes, I know, but ultimately of course it was Conan Doyle.
Alan
No, it was Moriary, it was definitely...
Lawrence
Yes, I know, in the books it was Moriarty, but of course the ultimate responsibility was Conan Doyle's.
Alan
Yep, hang on. As far as I know, Moriarty acted alone. Or did he? This is interesting. You, you think that there was some sort of conspiracy involving this shadowy Doyle figure? All right, OK, fair enough. Who solved all the cases?
Lawrence
Sherlock Holmes.
Alan
Exactly.
Lawrence
Yes, but, the cases were fictional too, it's all make-believe.
Alan
All right. Who lived on Baker Street?
Lawrence
I don't know.
Alan
Moriarty?
Lawrence
No!
Alan
Did the, did the Doyle live there?
Lawrence
The Doyle, the Dail is the Irish Parliament.
Alan
The Irish Parliament! This conspiracy's getting bigger. You can't trust anyone these days. You've got the Doyle, Moriarty, the Irish Parliament, it's... On that bombshell, I think we'll move on.



and of course

Its Julie Southampton from Southampton
 
"Im 47, My girlfriend's 33, she's 14 years younger than me, back of the net!"

"Technically, Lynn, your life's not worth insuring."
 
"wanna mars? ....swivel"

"..a big helicopter in giant underpants. Or a plane in a giant bra, having a slash on an airport"

"that was classic intercourse"
 
cant remember how it went but the episode when he interviews the transexual post op. she tells him she used to be a man and he looks disgusted and says... "but i kissed you"... i should have known you've got hands like a goalkeeper! class.
 
'i'm not homophobic, i'm more a homosceptic. I don't really believe in them, In my eyes god created Adam and Eve, he didn't create Adam and Steve'
 

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