Best Alan Partridge Quotes

[BimboBob]

Dan (to wife): Come on then, give Alan a twirl, let the dog see the rabbit. Alan: Yeah, but which is which?

I mean, if it was just the potatoes that were affected, at the end of the day, you will pay the price if you're a fussy eater. If they could afford to emigrate then they could afford to eat in a modest restaurant.

Lynn could you have a word with that builder - yesterday his jeans were so far off his backside you could more or less see his anus.

 

[IFeedGoats]

"dan, dan, dan, DAN, DAN, DAAAN, DAAAAN"

Classic, think these ones are from the same episode

"STOP RUBBING YOUR FANNY ON ME"
"Come on Lynn we're going, these are sex people"

 

[Darco]

<a class="postlink" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rB1W7mF74L0" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rB1W7mF74L0</a>

this one is my fave of all time

 

[Tom_mcfc]

dont rub your fanny on me

 

[mcfc_ms]

"You make pigs smoke" "You feed beef burgers to swans"

Alan - "I have probably got more friends that you have got cows...
Farmer - "This is ridiculous"
Alan - "..how many cows have you got?"
Farmer - "I have got 100 cows"
Alan - "errr, I have got 104 friends"

<a class="postlink" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCeNROdfDIE" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCeNROdfDIE</a>

 

[bowdonblue]

"No way you big spastic you're a mentalist!!"

 

[liamctid]

"I'm being bawdy Lynn, enjoy it."

"Ooh, I'd love to have it off with her"

I know its not actually a line from Alan but:

Alan: Mr. B Oddie, wait this is Bill Oddie!

Susan: We thought it said 'body'.

Alan: Whats rude about the body?

Sophie (if thats her name?!): Tits.

One of the best bits:

<a class="postlink" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVpLSRe0P1E" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVpLSRe0P1E</a>

 

[brooklandsblue2.0]

"Lynne, these are sex people"

 

[GJF]

"remember..rubber up!"

"my wife is 14 years younger than me..Cash back!"

 

[dannybcity]

"dan, dan, dan, DAN, DAN, DAAAN, DAAAAN"

Nope, this is really annoying. You try being called Dan!