Bluemoon Angling Thread

snorky said:
I managed to in Tobago years ago. Brilliant fun, they don't half go!
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Newman Noggs said:
That's what we'll be doing. My mate has been 3 times and reckons the bone fish are relatively essy to catch. The real challenge is catching Giant Trevally. I would be very excited but, in view of what happened to our Columbia trip, I'm trying not to get my hopes up.
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Brilliant stuff. I've seen film of people stalking them on the reefs and then them screaming off through the shallow water like missiles.
 
Bit of a quandary. Went to one of our club waters yesterday for a nice pleasure session in the spring sun. Got set up, plumbed up at 13 & 6m which were handily the same depth. Some nice bream rolling over my 13m line while I riddled my ground bait which was a good sign. Just then I felt a gastric gurgle and it became very apparent that the chilli chicken balti and 4 bottles of wheat beer from Friday night had completed the digestive process and now wished to exit my body. I thought I'd get a couple of balls of groundbait laced with pinkies in on both lines before retiring to the bushes to sort myself out. A deceptively firm turtles head was poking through my anal sphincter, but I was confident I could hold on. Bait in, I decided to get up from my box and that's when the gates of anal hell opened. That turtles head was followed by what can only be described as a coconut sized ball of foul smelling slurry. I waddled to the bushes carefully, no one else about so stripped from the waist down and used an old teatowel to wipe my backside having managed to contain the slop in my boxers. Once reasonably clean and dry I lobbed the teatowel and boxers under the bush and resumed my session 'commando'. A cracking start produced a 6lb tench on the long line, followed by a steady stream of skimmers/bream from hand sized up to about 4-5lb - about one every 10 mins. Around noon the club balif arrived and was impressed with what was by then around 32lb in the net - I took it out to show him what I thought were signs of cormorant damage on some skimmers. While I was doing this his westie dived under the bushes, then emerged with my boxers and shit all over it's poor little face. Balif not a fucking happy camper at this point, I acted daft but he went off muttering about 'dirty cunts'. Today it's kicked of on the club FB page - photos of his little dog covered in shit and demanding to know which members fished that swim in the last day or two. The thing is I know I'm the only one who bothers with that swim - it's open water and suits the pole, so the carp lads avoid it. Should I own up and hope to placate him, or just front it out? - I can't see CSI getting involved with the forensics tbh.
 
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Mazzarelli's Swiss Cheese said:
Bit of a quandary. Went to one of our club waters yesterday for a nice pleasure session in the spring sun. Got set up, plumbed up at 13 & 6m which were handily the same depth. Some nice bream rolling over my 13m line while I riddled my ground bait which was a good sign. Just then I felt a gastric gurgle and it became very apparent that the chilli chicken balti and 4 bottles of wheat beer from Friday night had completed the digestive process and now wished to exit my body. I thought I'd get a couple of balls of groundbait laced with pinkies in on both lines before retiring to the bushes to sort myself out. A deceptively firm turtles head was poking through my anal sphincter, but I was confident I could hold on. Bait in, I decided to get up from my box and that's when the gates of anal hell opened. That turtles head was followed by what can only be described as a coconut sized ball of foul smelling slurry. I waddled to the bushes carefully, no one else about so stripped from the waist down and used an old teatowel to wipe my backside having managed to contain the slop in my boxers. Once reasonably clean and dry I lobbed the teatowel and boxers under the bush and resumed my session 'commando'. A cracking start produced a 6lb tench on the long line, followed by a steady stream of skimmers/bream from hand sized up to about 4-5lb - about one every 10 mins. Around noon the club balif arrived and was impressed with what was by then around 32lb in the net - I took it out to show him what I thought were signs of cormorant damage on some skimmers. While I was doing this his westie dived under the bushes, then emerged with my boxers and shit all over it's poor little face. Balif not a fucking happy camper at this point, I acted daft but he went off muttering about 'dirty cunts'. Today it's kicked of on the club FB page - photos of his little dog covered in shit and demanding to know which members fished that swim in the last day or two. The thing is I know I'm the only one who bothers with that swim - it's open water and suits the pole, so the carp lads avoid it. Should I own up and hope to placate him, or just front it out? - I can't see CSI getting involved with the forensics tbh.
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Say nothing now it's on Facebook. If you were going to say anything, and I wouldn't have, it was to the bailiff before the dog went into the bushes. Unlucky that. But even unlikelier for the dog.
 
Mazzarelli's Swiss Cheese said:
Bit of a quandary. Went to one of our club waters yesterday for a nice pleasure session in the spring sun. Got set up, plumbed up at 13 & 6m which were handily the same depth. Some nice bream rolling over my 13m line while I riddled my ground bait which was a good sign. Just then I felt a gastric gurgle and it became very apparent that the chilli chicken balti and 4 bottles of wheat beer from Friday night had completed the digestive process and now wished to exit my body. I thought I'd get a couple of balls of groundbait laced with pinkies in on both lines before retiring to the bushes to sort myself out. A deceptively firm turtles head was poking through my anal sphincter, but I was confident I could hold on. Bait in, I decided to get up from my box and that's when the gates of anal hell opened. That turtles head was followed by what can only be described as a coconut sized ball of foul smelling slurry. I waddled to the bushes carefully, no one else about so stripped from the waist down and used an old teatowel to wipe my backside having managed to contain the slop in my boxers. Once reasonably clean and dry I lobbed the teatowel and boxers under the bush and resumed my session 'commando'. A cracking start produced a 6lb tench on the long line, followed by a steady stream of skimmers/bream from hand sized up to about 4-5lb - about one every 10 mins. Around noon the club balif arrived and was impressed with what was by then around 32lb in the net - I took it out to show him what I thought were signs of cormorant damage on some skimmers. While I was doing this his westie dived under the bushes, then emerged with my boxers and shit all over it's poor little face. Balif not a fucking happy camper at this point, I acted daft but he went off muttering about 'dirty cunts'. Today it's kicked of on the club FB page - photos of his little dog covered in shit and demanding to know which members fished that swim in the last day or two. The thing is I know I'm the only one who bothers with that swim - it's open water and suits the pole, so the carp lads avoid it. Should I own up and hope to placate him, or just front it out? - I can't see CSI getting involved with the forensics tbh.
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Front it out, you dirty fuckpig! :)

I am on the Welsh Dee for a couple of days.
I will make sure I take a dump before venturing out!
 
Mazzarelli's Swiss Cheese said:
Bit of a quandary. Went to one of our club waters yesterday for a nice pleasure session in the spring sun. Got set up, plumbed up at 13 & 6m which were handily the same depth. Some nice bream rolling over my 13m line while I riddled my ground bait which was a good sign. Just then I felt a gastric gurgle and it became very apparent that the chilli chicken balti and 4 bottles of wheat beer from Friday night had completed the digestive process and now wished to exit my body. I thought I'd get a couple of balls of groundbait laced with pinkies in on both lines before retiring to the bushes to sort myself out. A deceptively firm turtles head was poking through my anal sphincter, but I was confident I could hold on. Bait in, I decided to get up from my box and that's when the gates of anal hell opened. That turtles head was followed by what can only be described as a coconut sized ball of foul smelling slurry. I waddled to the bushes carefully, no one else about so stripped from the waist down and used an old teatowel to wipe my backside having managed to contain the slop in my boxers. Once reasonably clean and dry I lobbed the teatowel and boxers under the bush and resumed my session 'commando'. A cracking start produced a 6lb tench on the long line, followed by a steady stream of skimmers/bream from hand sized up to about 4-5lb - about one every 10 mins. Around noon the club balif arrived and was impressed with what was by then around 32lb in the net - I took it out to show him what I thought were signs of cormorant damage on some skimmers. While I was doing this his westie dived under the bushes, then emerged with my boxers and shit all over it's poor little face. Balif not a fucking happy camper at this point, I acted daft but he went off muttering about 'dirty cunts'. Today it's kicked of on the club FB page - photos of his little dog covered in shit and demanding to know which members fished that swim in the last day or two. The thing is I know I'm the only one who bothers with that swim - it's open water and suits the pole, so the carp lads avoid it. Should I own up and hope to placate him, or just front it out? - I can't see CSI getting involved with the forensics tbh.
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That's a good session mate, I'm on about the fishing, not the dog nose diarrhoea incident. I'd say that you intended to take your shit home but didn't admit anything to the bailiff due to feeling embarrassed.

Good luck in getting yourself out of the shit: )
 
Mazzarelli's Swiss Cheese said:
Bit of a quandary. Went to one of our club waters yesterday for a nice pleasure session in the spring sun. Got set up, plumbed up at 13 & 6m which were handily the same depth. Some nice bream rolling over my 13m line while I riddled my ground bait which was a good sign. Just then I felt a gastric gurgle and it became very apparent that the chilli chicken balti and 4 bottles of wheat beer from Friday night had completed the digestive process and now wished to exit my body. I thought I'd get a couple of balls of groundbait laced with pinkies in on both lines before retiring to the bushes to sort myself out. A deceptively firm turtles head was poking through my anal sphincter, but I was confident I could hold on. Bait in, I decided to get up from my box and that's when the gates of anal hell opened. That turtles head was followed by what can only be described as a coconut sized ball of foul smelling slurry. I waddled to the bushes carefully, no one else about so stripped from the waist down and used an old teatowel to wipe my backside having managed to contain the slop in my boxers. Once reasonably clean and dry I lobbed the teatowel and boxers under the bush and resumed my session 'commando'. A cracking start produced a 6lb tench on the long line, followed by a steady stream of skimmers/bream from hand sized up to about 4-5lb - about one every 10 mins. Around noon the club balif arrived and was impressed with what was by then around 32lb in the net - I took it out to show him what I thought were signs of cormorant damage on some skimmers. While I was doing this his westie dived under the bushes, then emerged with my boxers and shit all over it's poor little face. Balif not a fucking happy camper at this point, I acted daft but he went off muttering about 'dirty cunts'. Today it's kicked of on the club FB page - photos of his little dog covered in shit and demanding to know which members fished that swim in the last day or two. The thing is I know I'm the only one who bothers with that swim - it's open water and suits the pole, so the carp lads avoid it. Should I own up and hope to placate him, or just front it out? - I can't see CSI getting involved with the forensics tbh.
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Ye gods that has fair put me off my croissants. Own up or your fishing will hit the skids.
btw. Forensic science is such that the scrapings from the Westie could be used as DNA evidence against you. You should have just lobbed it in and used it as groundbait.
mind you then they would have you for polluting the river and a significant fish kill.
you are a wrong un mate. ;-)
 
Saddleworth2 said:
Ye gods that has fair put me off my croissants. Own up or your fishing will hit the skids.
btw. Forensic science is such that the scrapings from the Westie could be used as DNA evidence against you. You should have just lobbed it in and used it as groundbait.
mind you then they would have you for polluting the river and a significant fish kill.
you are a wrong un mate. ;-)
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Im beginning to regret not giving the evidence a 'burial at sea' in the next peg now - in hindsight would've avoided much trouble. I've decided to front it out and added my angry face to the Facebook likes and a post saying how disgusted I am, what is wrong with people nowadays etc....
 
Mazzarelli's Swiss Cheese said:
Im beginning to regret not giving the evidence a 'burial at sea' in the next peg now - in hindsight would've avoided much trouble. I've decided to front it out and added my angry face to the Facebook likes and a post saying how disgusted I am, what is wrong with people nowadays etc....
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I feel the net is closing in on you. You are inhabiting the Facebook pages like a serial killer hides in plain sight. The knock on the door is ever closer.

I can see the headlines now. Filthy Fisherman in Faeces Fiasco.
 
Mazzarelli's Swiss Cheese said:
Bit of a quandary. Went to one of our club waters yesterday for a nice pleasure session in the spring sun. Got set up, plumbed up at 13 & 6m which were handily the same depth. Some nice bream rolling over my 13m line while I riddled my ground bait which was a good sign. Just then I felt a gastric gurgle and it became very apparent that the chilli chicken balti and 4 bottles of wheat beer from Friday night had completed the digestive process and now wished to exit my body. I thought I'd get a couple of balls of groundbait laced with pinkies in on both lines before retiring to the bushes to sort myself out. A deceptively firm turtles head was poking through my anal sphincter, but I was confident I could hold on. Bait in, I decided to get up from my box and that's when the gates of anal hell opened. That turtles head was followed by what can only be described as a coconut sized ball of foul smelling slurry. I waddled to the bushes carefully, no one else about so stripped from the waist down and used an old teatowel to wipe my backside having managed to contain the slop in my boxers. Once reasonably clean and dry I lobbed the teatowel and boxers under the bush and resumed my session 'commando'. A cracking start produced a 6lb tench on the long line, followed by a steady stream of skimmers/bream from hand sized up to about 4-5lb - about one every 10 mins. Around noon the club balif arrived and was impressed with what was by then around 32lb in the net - I took it out to show him what I thought were signs of cormorant damage on some skimmers. While I was doing this his westie dived under the bushes, then emerged with my boxers and shit all over it's poor little face. Balif not a fucking happy camper at this point, I acted daft but he went off muttering about 'dirty cunts'. Today it's kicked of on the club FB page - photos of his little dog covered in shit and demanding to know which members fished that swim in the last day or two. The thing is I know I'm the only one who bothers with that swim - it's open water and suits the pole, so the carp lads avoid it. Should I own up and hope to placate him, or just front it out? - I can't see CSI getting involved with the forensics tbh.
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Not cool mate. You should have tied up the underwear and tea towel in a bag and took it home.
 
Mate's just phoned me from partridge lakes he's in an match, not my cup of tea, he spent grands on a pole, madness, anyway seems theres a match between the army and navy, who would of thought the armed forces would have fishing team's:)
 
snorky said:
Back from the Welsh Dee. Saw curlews, kingfishers, a kestrel and a treecreeper. There was a huge hatch of caddis.
Some lovely fly water, and not another soul out fishing.....
Probably because there were no salmon in the river!

Oh, I was also attacked by a goose.

Back on the Wye tomorrow for another bash.
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are you not tempted to take a trout fly rod with you and have a bash for some brownies?
 
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