Bluemoon joke competition

K K

kiam06

Well-Known Member
Joined
12 Oct 2008
Messages
6,941
I want to lighten up the mood with all the worrying about will we/ won't we make the top four so I want you bluemooners to make me laugh, I will donate £20 to the winner's chosen charity.

Anything goes as far as I am concerened, the less tasteful the better as it is for charity.

Its is £1 to enter, only kidding.
 
JB THE ROOSTER said:
Why did the chicken cross the road?


Becasue it saw Bernard Matthews running towards him with an erection and screaming.
Click to expand...

You are winning at the moment.
 
I saw a prostitute with no arms yesterday. I asked her if it affected her work.
She said 'I don't give a toss.'
 
Little boy comes running into the kitchen....

'Mummy Mummy, Granny has a prawn'

'What on earth are you talking about' replies the Mum

The boy takes his mum into the living room where Granny is sleeping on the sofa and her dressing gown has fallen open.

Pointing at his her clitoris he says 'Told you she had a prawn'

'Thats your Grandmothers clitoris' whispers the Mum

To which the little boy replies...'Well it tasted like a prawn!'

OR

I found out last night my Gran made a porno back in the 60's. I don;t know what disgusted me more, the fact she made it or the fact I carried on wanking when I recognised her.
 
Im going to the cinema tonight to watch the new Pirates movie. Dont take your kids to see it though, its rated AAARRGGH!
 
Walked passed a beggar yesterday, he said "Any change mate" I said "nope.......still got the big house, the nice car and loads of dough thanks".
 
My girlfriend asked me if I had ever pissed in the shower.

I said, "Yeah, a couple of times, accidentally."

She said, "That's disgusting! What do you mean accidentally?!"

"Hey," I said, "these things happen when you're having a shit."
 
'Doctor,please, please, kiss me!' 'No,you are a very beautiful woman but it's
against my code of ethics.' 'Please, just one kiss, please!'
'I'm very sorry,it's totally out of the question,you should'nt even be sucking
my cock.'
 
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