Boundaries between co-workers

bobmcfc said:
Depends on her really. Depends on her opinion of you. At work there are a few guys even ones much older than me who I can have a laugh and a frolic with and I know genuinely that it's nothing more than banter, then there are some guys who if they did the same I'd feel uncomfortable and question their motive.

So it all depends on your creep level.
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I rarely speak to her unless it's work related, no banter or jokes, so I'd like to think my creep level to her is about zero.
 
urban genie said:
Just see how she is tomorrow and make her know you were just being civil and not pervy, sure if she has known you a while she will understand you meant no harm.
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Thanks guys.

I will try and gauge her reaction towards me when I say good morning to her tomorrow. I may apologise for my own peace of mind.
 
But did you get a good look down her blouse?

You need to judge the mood and apologise if it seems the right thing to do - she may smile and say "anytime".


I worked with a young lady once who would stand behind me while I was sitting down and she would rest her tits on my shoulder.
She needed to rest them as (she said) they were size 32F.

And, no I don't have pictures, just memories.
 
The blue phantom said:
The last firm i worked at i remember the manager actually being suspended for doing just that.

I'd apoligise mate.
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I think apologising is my safest bet. I really have nothing to lose by doing it, and it could help quite a lot if she did indeed feel uncomfortable.
 
Vialli98 said:
I think apologising is my safest bet. I really have nothing to lose by doing it, and it could help quite a lot if she did indeed feel uncomfortable.
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I would just to break the ice. If you do not have any banter or jokes and it is just work related stuff you talk about it, touching her shoulders (and I presume you was stood behind her) is pretty odd. Its not like your mates and you lark about all the time.

I do not think you have done any harm though, so do not over analyse it but if she does feel uncomfortable a lighthearted (not overly serious) apology wouod reassure her.
 
franksinatra said:
I would just to break the ice. If you do not have any banter or jokes and it is just work related stuff you talk about it, touching her shoulders (and I presume you was stood behind her) is pretty odd. Its not like your mates and you lark about all the time.

I do not think you have done any harm though, so do not over analyse it but if she does feel uncomfortable a lighthearted (not overly serious) apology wouod reassure her.
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It was definitely an odd thing to do. The good thing is she is usually the first one in every morning, so if I get in 10 mins earlier, I might get the chance to clear this up before the day starts. If anything, It'll make me feel better.
 
Freedom of Information Act request. Is she
Vialli98 said:
I have a question, mainly for the females in here, but would love answers from everyone.

So today as I was leaving the office, I went to say goodbye to a female co-worker who sits directly behind me. I put my hands on both of her shoulders for about 3 to 5 seconds to say bye and then I walked out. I'm not friends with her, nor do I know her very well, we just work in close proximity every day. I felt quite guilty on my way home as I felt I may have invaded her privacy and overstepped co-worker boundaries. I say goodbye to her everyday without using my hands, not really sure why today was different. She didn't react negatively to it. She just said see you tomorrow, as usual.

Was it inappropriate? Or am I just making a mountain out of a molehill.
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Just say good morning as you usually do, and when you say goodbye at the end of the day, go 'oh and I don't know why I patted your shoulder yesterday but it was a bit David Brent and I'm dead embarrassed - really sorry!'

Ps was she fit? Is she single? the judge wants to know before sentencing..
 
Vialli98 said:
It was definitely an odd thing to do. The good thing is she is usually the first one in every morning, so if I get in 10 mins earlier, I might get the chance to clear this up before the day starts. If anything, It'll make me feel better.
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Get in early, sit in your undies with a shirt on at a desk, when she arrives tell her you are sorry and produce a bunch of flowers from behind your back. ;)

As others have said, bring it up casually in conversation and say sorry but don't do it in a one on one situation, if she is a bit iffy about it that could be construed as pressuring her.
 
Vialli98 said:
It was definitely an odd thing to do. The good thing is she is usually the first one in every morning, so if I get in 10 mins earlier, I might get the chance to clear this up before the day starts. If anything, It'll make me feel better.
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It happens mate. Christmas parties are the worst and you have your christmas ruined worrying about it.

Lighthearted jokey apology and it will be yesterdays news, otherwise she will be wondering your motives. If you are interested though tell her now at least then she will understand.
 
Wow. Are things really this far gone in the UK these days?
I'm not sure why you think she might be upset by human contact but you clearly are so you need to talk to her first thing and clear it up. Just tell her exactly what you posted on here and assure her that you will keep your hands off if she thought it was inappropriate.

I get fucking sick of cheek kissing all the women I work with. They don't find it inappropriate, it's considered the polite way to greet a colleague here. (of the opposite sex).
 
franksinatra said:
It happens mate. Christmas parties are the worst and you have your christmas ruined worrying about it.

Lighthearted jokey apology and it will be yesterdays news, otherwise she will be wondering your motives. If you are interested though tell her now at least then she will understand.
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Thanks mate.

It'll probably be one of those things where I'll look back on this and wonder why wasted am entire evening fretting over it, but I need to bring it up, if only for my own peace of mind, so I can know for sure I didn't cross a line with her.
 
TheBlueDune said:
But did you get a good look down her blouse?

You need to judge the mood and apologise if it seems the right thing to do - she may smile and say "anytime".


I worked with a young lady once who would stand behind me while I was sitting down and she would rest her tits on my shoulder.
She needed to rest them as (she said) they were size 32F.

And, no I don't have pictures, just memories.
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lol your job was to be a tit table or breast rest, i can't think of better working conditions tbh.
 
Gelsons Dad said:
Wow. Are things really this far gone in the UK these days?
I'm not sure why you think she might be upset by human contact but you clearly are so you need to talk to her first thing and clear it up. Just tell her exactly what you posted on here and assure her that you will keep your hands off if she thought it was inappropriate.

I get fucking sick of cheek kissing all the women I work with. They don't find it inappropriate, it's considered the polite way to greet a colleague here. (of the opposite sex).
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I don't know mate. Touching her on the shoulders could easily be construed as flirting or unwanted advances. I'm trying to be on the safe side.
 
Manchester1894 said:
Freedom of Information Act request. Is she


Just say good morning as you usually do, and when you say goodbye at the end of the day, go 'oh and I don't know why I patted your shoulder yesterday but it was a bit David Brent and I'm dead embarrassed - really sorry!'

Ps was she fit? Is she single? the judge wants to know before sentencing..
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blue b4 the moon said:
Get in early, sit in your undies with a shirt on at a desk, when she arrives tell her you are sorry and produce a bunch of flowers from behind your back. ;)

As others have said, bring it up casually in conversation and say sorry but don't do it in a one on one situation, if she is a bit iffy about it that could be construed as pressuring her.
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Thanks guys.

Good point about one to one. I do not want to be having a serious conversation with her about this. That would probably make her uncomfortable for real.
 
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