Boundaries between co-workers

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Vialli98

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I have a question, mainly for the females in here, but would love answers from everyone.

So today as I was leaving the office, I went to say goodbye to a female co-worker who sits directly behind me. I put my hands on both of her shoulders for about 3 to 5 seconds to say bye and then I walked out. I'm not friends with her, nor do I know her very well, we just work in close proximity every day. I felt quite guilty on my way home as I felt I may have invaded her privacy and overstepped co-worker boundaries. I say goodbye to her everyday without using my hands, not really sure why today was different. She didn't react negatively to it. She just said see you tomorrow, as usual.

Was it inappropriate? Or am I just making a mountain out of a molehill.
 
I think it depends on how long you've known her. Difficult to say if it was inappropriate. It depends on the person really. I wouldn't worry to much about it. A lot of the time you'll do something then later worry about whether you were in the wrong. I'd say don't do it again, and if she or her boss says anything which is unlikely, then accept it, offer your sincere apologies and move on.
 
Vialli98 said:
I have a question, mainly for the females in here, but would love answers from everyone.

So today as I was leaving the office, I went to say goodbye to a female co-worker who sits directly behind me. I put my hands on both of her shoulders for about 3 to 5 seconds to say bye and then I walked out. I'm not friends with her, nor do I know her very well, we just work in close proximity every day. I felt quite guilty on my way home as I felt I may have invaded her privacy and overstepped co-worker boundaries. I say goodbye to her everyday without using my hands, not really sure why today was different. She didn't react negatively to it. She just said see you tomorrow, as usual.

Was it inappropriate? Or am I just making a mountain out of a molehill.
Click to expand...
Yep. Inappropriate.
(Pictures btw)
 
mcfc moon said:
I think it depends on how long you've known her. Difficult to say if it was inappropriate. It depends on the person really. I wouldn't worry to much about it. A lot of the time you'll do something then later worry about whether you were in the wrong. I'd say don't do it again, and if she or her boss says anything which is unlikely, then accept it, offer your sincere apologies and move on.
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I've been with this company about 5 months. I rarely speak to her unless it's work related. She isn't really the chatty type. I just thought that if I felt like it may have been inappropriate, she may have felt like that too. Her boss is also my boss, and she once put a complaint in that he (our boss) had said something inappropriate to her, so guess she could theoretically complain about this too, hence why I thought I should nip it in the bud tomorrow and apologise. Otherwise I'll be wondering the rest of week if I'll get called in by HR.
 
Depends on what boundries you have with her as a co worker or person in general.

I work with mainly women, some I have known for years and are considered friends will hug me at times, some who are longtime co workers who will are comfortable with contact and some who prefer you out of thier personal space.

If you just normally let on, she may think you overstepped the mark sure you will find out if she's uncomfortable/annoyed.
 
I knew a bloke years ago who would drop something else on a female co workers shoulders. Mind you if was hung like him I would never put it away!
Its funny how times have changed. I am sure a quiet word with her in the morning and all will be fine mate.
 
You shouldn't touch someone you don't really know,it's a minefield these days with sexual discrimination in the workplace,say nothing but don't do it again
 
Vialli98 said:
It doesn't seem like much, but I genuinely walked away thinking it was a bit inappropriate.
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Depends on her really. Depends on her opinion of you. At work there are a few guys even ones much older than me who I can have a laugh and a frolic with and I know genuinely that it's nothing more than banter, then there are some guys who if they did the same I'd feel uncomfortable and question their motive.

So it all depends on your creep level.
 
urban genie said:
Depends on what boundries you have with her as a co worker or person in general.

I work with mainly women, some I have known for years and are considered friends will hug me at times, some who are longtime co workers who will are comfortable with contact and some who prefer you out of thier personal space.

If you just normally let on, she may think you overstepped the mark sure you will find out if she's uncomfortable/annoyed.
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Yes I have that type of relationship with others around the office. I only I felt like I overstepped the boundaries because I don't know her that well and we don't joke and laugh much with each other.
 
karen7 said:
You shouldn't touch someone you don't really know,it's a minefield these days with sexual discrimination in the workplace,say nothing but don't do it again
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Yeah I don't know why did it today. I regretted it as soon as I was out of the building. She didn't react negatively, but that means nothing as she could felt uncomfortable without reacting immediately.
 
Vialli98 said:
Yes I have that type of relationship with others around the office. I only I felt like I overstepped the boundaries because I don't know her that well and we don't joke and laugh much with each other.
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Just see how she is tomorrow and make her know you were just being civil and not pervy, sure if she has known you a while she will understand you meant no harm.
 
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