Bullying at work

Cake

Well-Known Member
Joined
4 Jul 2009
Messages
1,069
Just after a bit of advice please folks.

My Mrs works in the NHS and is really suffering at the moment, we have a lot going on at the moment so we are both a bit stressed out but what is going on at her work is making it massively worse for her and we don't know best way to approach it.

Basically her boss is a complete woman who is incompetent at her job but manages to pass down her failings to make it look like my Mrs fault. She is a shit manager, has no people skills and is abismal at her job. If it was the private sector she would have been shipped out ages ago!

Example - my Mrs did a presentation infron of her boss and 12 others last week, is was done exactly as per her boss instructions (she emailed her what to do). At the end of this presentation the head of department said it wasn't really what she wanted so my Mrs boss jumps up, walks over to her and infront of everyone starts banging and jabbing her finger on the table and asking why she did it wrong, if she didn't understand the instructions to ask, if she wasn't competent at job somebody else wil have to do these in future. My Mrs replied that it was done as per the emailed instructions and was talked down to again and told that she was basically not clever enough to understand the instruction. She said she felt completely humiliated infront of 12 other people, even the others in the room couldnt beleive what had just happened. I have read both and it is done exactly as it should be.

The boss constantly talks down to her, berates & humiliates her infront of colleagues when somthing is done 'incorrectly' yet it is generally her instructions that are incorrect, makes it awkward for her to have holiday (she is the only full timer in dept - the other 2 women do part time), makes it difficult for doctors & dentist appts.

The final straw (which I only found out a couple days ago) when my Dad died in June, my Mrs phoned in to work from my parents house the next day to say she wouldn't be in and why. Her boss then said to her 'have you seen the body - I've never been in that position before, was it cold?'

Because this woman is her boss we don't really know what to do as we fear that it could make her working life even more difficult. She loves her job, the dept she works in and is very good at what she does, but is hating working for this woman. The issue has already been raised with the head of department in May this year but it was seemingly brushed under the carpet as it would cause her hassle.

How should we approach this?
 
Cake said:
Just after a bit of advice please folks.

My Mrs works in the NHS and is really suffering at the moment, we have a lot going on at the moment so we are both a bit stressed out but what is going on at her work is making it massively worse for her and we don't know best way to approach it.

Basically her boss is a complete woman who is incompetent at her job but manages to pass down her failings to make it look like my Mrs fault. She is a shit manager, has no people skills and is abismal at her job. If it was the private sector she would have been shipped out ages ago!

Example - my Mrs did a presentation infron of her boss and 12 others last week, is was done exactly as per her boss instructions (she emailed her what to do). At the end of this presentation the head of department said it wasn't really what she wanted so my Mrs boss jumps up, walks over to her and infront of everyone starts banging and jabbing her finger on the table and asking why she did it wrong, if she didn't understand the instructions to ask, if she wasn't competent at job somebody else wil have to do these in future. My Mrs replied that it was done as per the emailed instructions and was talked down to again and told that she was basically not clever enough to understand the instruction. She said she felt completely humiliated infront of 12 other people, even the others in the room couldnt beleive what had just happened. I have read both and it is done exactly as it should be.

The boss constantly talks down to her, berates & humiliates her infront of colleagues when somthing is done 'incorrectly' yet it is generally her instructions that are incorrect, makes it awkward for her to have holiday (she is the only full timer in dept - the other 2 women do part time), makes it difficult for doctors & dentist appts.

The final straw (which I only found out a couple days ago) when my Dad died in June, my Mrs phoned in to work from my parents house the next day to say she wouldn't be in and why. Her boss then said to her 'have you seen the body - I've never been in that position before, was it cold?'

Because this woman is her boss we don't really know what to do as we fear that it could make her working life even more difficult. She loves her job, the dept she works in and is very good at what she does, but is hating working for this woman. The issue has already been raised with the head of department in May this year but it was seemingly brushed under the carpet as it would cause her hassle.

How should we approach this?
I also work for the NHS I will look into it and get back to you

Nothing worse than feeling you can turn nowhere at work,especially with things as they currently are with the NHS

Out of interest which trust does she work for,if it the same as me i may be able to provide numbers and e-mail addresses PM if you don't want to put it on here
 
MATCITY said:
I also work for the NHS I will look into it and get back to you

Nothing worse than feeling you can turn nowhere at work,especially with things as they currently are with the NHS

Thanks mate, like you say its difficult in the NHS at the moment, she doesn't want to appear a trouble maker.

There is some light at the end of tunnel though, a different trust locally has just advertised for her role - she did a 2 month secondment there earlyt his year and the head of dept there wants her to have the job. Only drawback is that its a pay band lower yet there is more responsibility that she currently has - is there a way of challenging this if she was offered the job?

Apologies for the barrage of questions!
 
The NHS is a big place , she might be as well to just put in for a transfer to another department , away from this woman ......

she shouldn't have to do it , i know , but sometimes it's the best way to find peace of mind!
 
I would start thinking about going down the "stress" route, go to the doctor, say why she is stressed, get signed off, then contact work and tell HR why she if off and why stressed. They will sh*t themslves that she is off specifically because of her treatment at work. Then when she is ready go back in a raise a greivance explaining fully why she feels stressed. She will need to document every thing that has gone on, time and dates, and get witnessed if possible. She can start doing this now before she goes off. Get in touch with an employee rep, do everything by the book.

If she is stressed because of her treatment she is more than able to go doctors and go down this route, as it isn't as if she is lying. If after greivance anything happens you can go tribunal citing constructive dissmissal.
 
black mamba said:
The NHS is a big place , she might be as well to just put in for a transfer to another department , away from this woman ......

she shouldn't have to do it , i know , but sometimes it's the best way to find peace of mind!

Don't run, fight.

All companies have a code of conduct. Bullying in the work place should be on it.

My advice...

It's all in the detail. Dates and times that the abuse/ bullying has happened. Witness statements from people (like in that meeting). She will have a line manager. Once you have got some evidence then put in a formal complaint to HER line manager. They are duty bound by law to investigate.
 
The first would be to take the issue up with her line manager but as her line manager is the "bully" I'd suggest she reports the incident directly to her HR department and make a formal complaint.

It's unacceptable that this has happened in front of colleges although at least she will have witness to support her complaint.

Good luck mate and keep us posted.

To add to the above, is your Mrs aware of anyone else that is receiving the smae treatment from the boss?
 
It depends wether your wife want's to go formal or informal with her complaint. Quite often an individual does not realise that the behaviour they are adopting in the workplace is unacceptable. One suggestion would be to ask her union rep to draw the managers attention to the NHS policy relating to Dignity At Work and Behaviour and explain how the actions they are showing are affecting your wife and what the implications to her own job would be if she chooses to ignore the advice.
By what you descibe your wife would also be fully justified in going formal with her complaint. Once again her union would help with this, but more often than not individuals want resolution without going down this route.
I would definately suggest that your wife makes a note of any events that take place times, witnesses etc.
Alternatively, if all this fails your wife could consider waiting for her boss after work, dragging her head to the floor and kicking the living shite out of her.
 
the kippax wall said:
It depends wether your wife want's to go formal or informal with her complaint. Quite often an individual does not realise that the behaviour they are adopting in the workplace is unacceptable. One suggestion would be to ask her union rep to draw the managers attention to the NHS policy relating to Dignity At Work and Behaviour and explain how the actions they are showing are affecting your wife and what the implications to her own job would be if she chooses to ignore the advice.
By what you descibe your wife would also be fully justified in going formal with her complaint. Once again her union would help with this, but more often than not individuals want resolution without going down this route.
I would definately suggest that your wife makes a note of any events that take place times, witnesses etc.
Alternatively, if all this fails your wife could consider waiting for her boss after work, dragging her head to the floor and kicking the living shite out of her.

Its not the wisest thing to do as it could backfire badly (criminal conviction) but it would work and is normally the best way to sort out a bully.

EDIT: its Christmas soon do it on a works do on the sly away from any cameras and lay the fucking law down.
 
Challenger1978 said:
the kippax wall said:
It depends wether your wife want's to go formal or informal with her complaint. Quite often an individual does not realise that the behaviour they are adopting in the workplace is unacceptable. One suggestion would be to ask her union rep to draw the managers attention to the NHS policy relating to Dignity At Work and Behaviour and explain how the actions they are showing are affecting your wife and what the implications to her own job would be if she chooses to ignore the advice.
By what you descibe your wife would also be fully justified in going formal with her complaint. Once again her union would help with this, but more often than not individuals want resolution without going down this route.
I would definately suggest that your wife makes a note of any events that take place times, witnesses etc.
Alternatively, if all this fails your wife could consider waiting for her boss after work, dragging her head to the floor and kicking the living shite out of her.

Its not the wisest thing to do as it could backfire badly (criminal conviction) but it would work and is normally the best way to sort out a bully.

And he could film it and take pictures. Two birds fighting is always a great view, especially when clothes starts getting ripped. Give 'em ten minutes of this and then they will make up by taking you home for a proper full on lesbo session. Everyone's a winner and you get to do two birds up the arse.
 

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