Ive been there. We lost one of ours, hit by a car, broke my fucking heart. I didnt want another one in xase it hapoened again. Last October my mrs went back to Lothian Cat Rescue, abd brought home Ava, an absolute darling, wee nutter, asshole and expert cat sheepdog as she guides me into the kitchen to get her food. Shes fucking world class at it. I piss myself at her. But, get her food. I couldn't imagine life without her. I would recommend giving another cat a great, loved life. There are so many who need people like you.