Cheapskates

[BlueMoonRisin’]

We did a BBQ a couple of summers back. Open house, loads of folk round, provided loads of booze and loads of food, nibbles, party food for everyone's kids but asked if anyone wanted anything specific to eat could they bring it themselves.

Great party, everyone clattered, house and garden wrecked and left for us to clear up and everyone staggered off in the wee hours.

One particularly tight-arsed friend of the beautiful Mrs This! came back the next day to reclaim his packet of (six) sausages that he had noticed were still in the fridge as he left, with only the two he had eaten taken from it...

He came from Chorlton to Hale FFS. In a car. To triumphantly reclaim four bloody sausages.

C*nt.

I hope you charged the tight **** for the electricity it took to keep them cool in your fridge.

 

[crizack]

You tend to find it's the wealthy ones who are tight arses.

1. My uncles wife (mam's side) said to my nan, ''I'm giving some clothes to charity tomorrow, have a look through them and let me know if there's anything you want.'' Nan picked a few tops out and his wife said, ''just give me what you think they're worth''. They were staying at hers for a few weeks whilst their plumbing was being repaired. My nan didn't ask for a penny.

2. Same woman. My nan was going to the shop and asked if they wanted anything. she gave my nan a quid and asked for 2 muller rice. Asked her to get a receipt too.

3. Mate of mine lent me a quid when I was about 15 and pestered for it back, got his dad to ring my mums house and sent a letter demanding it. Not his mate anymore.

4. Current missus. What's mine is ours and what's hers is hers.

I don't go in on rounds because I know there are people who take the piss although saying that, I probably owe my dad a few hundred quid for beers on match days ;)

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

You tend to find it's the wealthy ones who are tight arses.

My mate has worked hard to be comfortable in life, never was tight when he was single but his wife turned him into, let's say very careful with money.

I'd say "your turn at the bar mate".

"I'm going after this pint, told the missus I'll be back later".

Now his missus has tits like fried eggs but her bra's seem to get bigger each year, the tight arsed money laundering woman.

I nicknamed my mate ' yercantekitwiya. Japanese for tight ****.

 

[crizack]

My mate has worked hard to be comfortable in life, never was tight when he was single but his wife turned him into, let's say very careful with money.

I'd say "your turn at the bar mate".

"I'm going after this pint, told the missus I'll be back later".

Now his missus has tits like fried eggs but her bra's seem to get bigger each year, the tight arsed money laundering woman.

I nicknamed my mate ' yercantekitwiya. Japanese for tight ****.

Some people want to be the richest in the graveyard

 

[johnny on the spot]

There's always one **** at a house party who brings four cans which never leave his side the entire night.

Also, perhaps unrelated, but cocaine tends to turn erstwhile and generous friends into absolute stingebags when the devil's dandruff is running short. I've recently witnessed one friend replace his mate's half gram of sniff with an empty bag from earlier in the night and blame the loss on a different friend.

 

[chaddblue]

McDonald's used to be a few pence cheaper for a take out than a sit in (may still be no idea)

At a place I used to work there was one next door so we used to grab our dinner there every now and then

One of the lads used to get a take out and go and sit in his car whilst we all sat inside the McDonald's. He was a bit of an all round odd ball to be honest

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

Some people want to be the richest in the graveyard

Hence the Japanese nickname mate.

 

[chaddblue]

There's always one **** at a house party who brings four cans which never leave his side the entire night.

Or someone who brings Shitty Aldis own cans and then drinks the decent stuff other people have put in the fridge

 

[NipHolmes]

My mate Freddie, when we go for a meal I catch him tallying the cost of the meals as we order. He then jots into his phone.

Come bill time, he has his money sort, rounded to the nearest £. If we go in rounds, he orders everyone what he is drinking so he doesnt end up paying for luxury drinks, worst of it is he drinks Carlsberg or Carling rather than premium lagers like Stella or Peroni etc. Went for a week away to Devon at an Haven camp for the kids holidays. He would eat the left overs of all the kids food rather than leave it to waste, he would even finish drinks.

I fell out with Freddie in June because he found God and turned into a weirdo, wont go for a pint or eat with others unless they say grace etc. Fuck Freddie.

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

My mate Freddie, when we go for a meal I catch him tallying the cost of the meals as we order. He then jots into his phone.

Come bill time, he has his money sort, rounded to the nearest £. If we go in rounds, he orders everyone what he is drinking so he doesnt end up paying for luxury drinks, worst of it is he drinks Carlsberg or Carling rather than premium lagers like Stella or Peroni etc. Went for a week away to Devon at an Haven camp for the kids holidays. He would eat the left overs of all the kids food rather than leave it to waste, he would even finish drinks.

I fell out with Freddie in June because he found God and turned into a weirdo, wont go for a pint or eat with others unless they say grace etc. Fuck Freddie.