Childhood Bullies

Loads of great stories in this thread and most with happy endings. I was bullied and to a lesser extent a bullier. I know that it is rarely personal and that it is usually a way for people to vent their frustrations.

Having said that, the scars of being bullied run deep and the OP needs to confront his thoughts and feelings.

The first advice is to GO to the stag trip. Positive action always helps. Not going would make the negativity fester even more. Dont overly involve your brother as it is his special trip and not really his problem.

Go with the intention of taking positive action. Also take this action quickly; preferably at the airport or sooner.

It probably wont be necessary to get physical. The lads are unlikely to match any aggresssion you show and are likely to apologise (whether they mean it or not -you will never know).

Confront them about the past and stand tall and speak with passion. The thought of hitting them should be in the back of your mind only.

They will probably feel bad and concerned that you are still upset after so long. That should be enough to give you closure. If they dont show remorse or do take the piss then you can ignore them. You may opt for a physical option at this point; but save it for a time when there are as few spectators as possible (in particular make sure your brother is not there).

It will probably be a great trip and you will heal some wounds and you may even make two new friends.

As with most problems in life; action is the best option and dealing with it quickly is best.

Keep a cool head and remember that most abusers are the victims of abuse themselves.

Have a great time!
 
i got bullied loads at school, but I know I'm not many people's cup of tea so if people don't like me that's their decision and I respect that.

If they want to put me down or be nasty, then they can, because at the end they're only showing themselves up in front of people by attacking someone who's not caused them an issue.

If they feel the need to justify themselves doing that, I've already won the battle.
 
If it was me in your position, I'dd tell my bro, go to the do but keep my distance from them (bullies). You may be surprised they might say sorry. Or if you feel you can handle the urge to start a fight after a skinfull what's the worry. Go, enjoy yourself and keep your self respect.
 
It's quite amazing, but I was never bullied in school. I'm just about the scrawniest, weakest, nerdiest guy you could ever meet but the one thing I had going in my favour was that people from other groups respected me. I had friends in lots of different cliques, which I think helped. If anyone looked like giving me trouble, I'd have somebody bigger waiting on the wings to defend me.

In fact, I remember when I was about 12, this guy took to calling me every name under the sun. Pretty much everybody I knew took exception to it and started giving him plenty of shit back and he stopped the same week. I then met him about 6 years later, and to my surprise he was a really amicable guy and we had a drink and a laugh together.

It's easy for me to say, but I'd say lots can change over time and maybe you should try to live and let live. Maybe have a word on the quiet with them, tell them that you're being diplomatic for the sake of your brother, but they made your life a nightmare and you were finding it hard to forget. If they've matured then they'd just say sorry there and then, buy you a pint and hopefully that'd help in putting it behind you.

The alternative is that you keep quiet and put up with them. It's one evening of putting your feelings aside, for the sake of your brother. I don't think that's unreasonable.
 
Make sure they don't peanut your tie (that's if you'll be wearing one that is lol)
 
Bullies are the ones that most of the time end up having miserable lives.
 
On the flip side of this..

When I was in school I was a tall confident lad who could handle himself and many a time I intervened when bullies picked on the younger kids

There was one lad called Phil..he was 2/3 years younger than me and a slightly build lad..very quiet and had something wrong with his legs..

I sort of took him under my wing as he used to get a lot of shit..and managed to stop the bullying through the odd smack in the mouth and a little intimidation

Anyway to cut a long story short..I was drinking in my local about 4 years ago (im now 38) when I got a tap on the shoulder..I didn't recognise the guy but he explained who he was and I remembered straight away..it was Phil..and he wanted to thank me for being there for him in school as I stopped the continuous batterings and even when I left they didn't touch him..

I was truly humbled..I genuinely had no idea that bullying had such a profound effect even years later..
 
I changed schools in year 7 which is ages 10 and 11. Now everyone had there friends from Primary school and hung around together and i was told in no uncertain circumstances that i wasn't welcome. 3 lads went out of there way to make my life hell during that year. Come the summer my Dad sent me away to my Grandparents in Manchester just to get me away from it all. In those 6 weeks i grew about 6" lost all my puppy fat and as a result became more confident in myself. My Dad came to get me and seeing i had grown so much took me out to buy new clothes and such. I went back to school and suddenly everyone wanted to know me apart from these 3 lads. I managed to get everyone of them separately and leathered each of them with all my anger i could muster. 1 of them is now my best friend and also will be my best man at my wedding. I hold no grudges towards these lads and they hold none against me. They were young and doing what everyone else was telling them to do as they were the "hard " lads in school.
I guess i was lucky and some might not be. I know for a fact that not having things like facebook, mobile phone and also us all living in seperate villages with no means of getting to the other one meant i could detach myself from it all when i got home.
 
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