Crazy Chinese neighbours

[jma]

Reminds me of an old Bernard Manning 70's joke:-

Chinese neighbour knocked on Bernard's door.....


Chinaman:-..."Hi...Your house same size as my house, how many rolls of warpaper your front room"

BM.:-"Seventeen"

Cm:-..Ah so!, thank you.


Two days later.....

Cm :- "Hi....warpapering finished now......I had four rolls over"

BM:- "So did I"




:-)

I genuinely don't get that.

Is it something to do with the pronunciation (r as l)?

Or is the joke that he doesn't like Chinese people so gave them duff information?

 

[peoffrey]

An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese man, are hired at a Construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand.

He says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."

To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shoveling."

And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."

He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you men to make a dent in that pile of sand."

So when the foreman returns after being away for a couple of hours the pile of sand is untouched.

He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"

The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinesea fella that he a wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere."

Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."

The Scotsman replies, "Aye, that ye did laddie, boot ah could nae get meself a shoovel. Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldna fin' him neither."

The foreman is really angry now. He storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese gent.

Just then, the Chinese man leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells, "SUPPLIES!!!!"

 

[mancityvstoke]

I got classed as a racist for them types of harmless jokes once.

Can't say fuck all these days.

I chink they're china take over.

 

[worsleyweb]

My neighbour is the most boring bastard in the world. He has spent the past 4 weekends I kid you not just doing boring jobs on his house like staining the fence. His poor boring kids have not left the garden in that time and they must be 10 to 15. They literally don't leave the house or do anything. And he has united kits all over the line. Never been though and even too tight to have sky.

 

[mancityvstoke]

My neighbour is the most boring bastard in the world. He has spent the past 4 weekends I kid you not just doing boring jobs on his house like staining the fence. His poor boring kids have not left the garden in that time and they must be 10 to 15. They literally don't leave the house or do anything. And he has united kits all over the line. Never been though and even too tight to have sky.

I don't have sky either. Hate SKY TV!

Best go...garden fence to stain.

 

[bgblue]

I was about to say how nice both sets of neighbours ours are. Which they are, but some inconsiderate people over the back are now blasting shitty tunes out so now if your out in the garden you have to listen to their shit. Advice bluemooners!!!

Just post dog shit through their letterbox :)

 

[peoffrey]

I got classed as a racist for them types of harmless jokes once.

Can't say fuck all these days.

I chink they're china take over.

You could argue the joke I quoted was taking the piss out of his accent and nothing else. A lot of Mancs would say "surplise" instead of "surprise" etc.

 

[davymcfc]

Well I have met them and they seem very nice although they don't seem to speak any English.
There's another neighbour that sits on the front step on sunny days like this with "thug life" tattooed on his big beer belly.

 

[Phil Meup]

I was about to say how nice both sets of neighbours ours are. Which they are, but some inconsiderate people over the back are now blasting shitty tunes out so now if your out in the garden you have to listen to their shit. Advice bluemooners!!!

Go inside.
It's getting cold anyway.

 

[ColinBellsjockstrap]

Reminds me of an old Bernard Manning 70's joke:-

Chinese neighbour knocked on Bernard's door.....


Chinaman:-..."Hi...Your house same size as my house, how many rolls of warpaper your front room"

BM.:-"Seventeen"

Cm:-..Ah so!, thank you.


Two days later.....

Cm :- "Hi....warpapering finished now......I had four rolls over"

BM:- "So did I"




:-)

I genuinely don't get that.

Is it something to do with the pronunciation (r as l)?

Or is the joke that he doesn't like Chinese people so gave them duff information?

Neither...It's just a daft joke.

Manning could just as easily have said German, French, Scottish etc.....It just happened he used Chinese this particular time.....