CSA

[CTID1988]

Give her your son and fuck off to Monaco with a bird with big tits

 

[Dirty Harry]

I have no experience of the CSA or the pain of splitting up with kids involved, so I really feel for you mate, what a horrible situation yo find yourself in.

I guess in your position you only want to see the money you pay spent on your daughter, but bear in mind if you want a happy, secure childhood for your little girl, then you need to ensure her mother is similarly happy and secure, otherwise she will pick up on all the bad feelings and so on, and it will do her no good at all.

I know it goes against the grain, but if your money pays for the odd night out and a big telly for the ex, then it has knock on positives for your young 'un, and of course makes you a good man for it.

The knocking on 20 years of hard finance might seem never ending, but it's worth it for your kids surely, and before you know it, they'll be all grown up, and able to appreciate what you have done for them.

I hope everything works out fairly financially for you, but more important is the love for your baby than all the money, and a huge part of her life comes from a happy Mother, it's not worth the squabbling if you can keep that in mind in these frustrating times.

Certainly agree with the point you're trying to make Jim, but what about the OP's son, what about the hardship he may face because of this extra financial strain/burden, it's often been a big criticism of what the CSA did/do because it didn't really take into account the interest of the children living with 'the absent parent' (what a fuckin phrase that is).

 

[RP2]

As others have rightly suggested, you need to make a claim for CSA so she can help support her child that lives with you.

I'm pretty sure that in your circumstance it will cancel itself out unless of course you earn a lot more than she does.

If you have a private arrangement don't be trusting and ask for receipts, do this with everything you buy and don't feel guilty about it.

Good luck with this m8 and hope everything works out for you.

Thanks mate.......and flash,they don't take anyone's word for it,even though she has admitted he lives with me,they say I still have to pay as she was the tax credit and benefit claimant....crazy I know.

Well, for starters this is classed as benefit fraud, on HER part only.

I'd inform her of this and advise if she doesn't sort it out you'll shop her.

 

[BigJimLittleJim]

I have no experience of the CSA or the pain of splitting up with kids involved, so I really feel for you mate, what a horrible situation yo find yourself in.

I guess in your position you only want to see the money you pay spent on your daughter, but bear in mind if you want a happy, secure childhood for your little girl, then you need to ensure her mother is similarly happy and secure, otherwise she will pick up on all the bad feelings and so on, and it will do her no good at all.

I know it goes against the grain, but if your money pays for the odd night out and a big telly for the ex, then it has knock on positives for your young 'un, and of course makes you a good man for it.

The knocking on 20 years of hard finance might seem never ending, but it's worth it for your kids surely, and before you know it, they'll be all grown up, and able to appreciate what you have done for them.

I hope everything works out fairly financially for you, but more important is the love for your baby than all the money, and a huge part of her life comes from a happy Mother, it's not worth the squabbling if you can keep that in mind in these frustrating times.

Certainly agree with the point you're trying to make Jim, but what about the OP's son, what about the hardship he may face because of this extra financial strain/burden, it's often been a big criticism of what the CSA did/do because it didn't really take into account the interest of the children living with 'the absent parent' (what a fuckin phrase that is).

yeah it's tough, I guess the OP will look after his lad just fine, it's his daughter he can't allow to live in a bitter dispute etc..

I also find it totally unfair that the CSA keep on taking money from the father when the ex has found a new husband, or live-in partner, who is perfectly capable of contributing. When I met Our Lass, she had a 3 year old lad, and wanted nothing to do with the father, so took no money off him, and I stepped into the role of Dad, with all the costs involved, and I thought nothing of it, it was just part of the deal of being with her.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is, don't let the dispute of money stop your kids from living in a happy, secure household, because it will really hurt you later on in life when you realise the damage the squabbling has caused.

 

[BlueHalli]

Why does it always seem like it's the bloke that gets screwed over in these situations ?.
Fookin cows, I bet next to fook all actually goes to the kids . Goes towards new shoes and bags .

 

[The Flash]

I guess in your position you only want to see the money you pay spent on your daughter, but bear in mind if you want a happy, secure childhood for your little girl, then you need to ensure her mother is similarly happy and secure, otherwise she will pick up on all the bad feelings and so on, and it will do her no good at all.

Sorry Jim, but it is Child Maintenance that he pays, not Ex Maintenance.

He is not obliged to pay for his ex's welfare. Only that of the child.

Whilst your sentiment is a noble one, it is based on the premise that his ex isn't a serpent with breasts, which judging by her antics, this one clearly is.

 

[Dirty Harry]

I have no experience of the CSA or the pain of splitting up with kids involved, so I really feel for you mate, what a horrible situation yo find yourself in.

I guess in your position you only want to see the money you pay spent on your daughter, but bear in mind if you want a happy, secure childhood for your little girl, then you need to ensure her mother is similarly happy and secure, otherwise she will pick up on all the bad feelings and so on, and it will do her no good at all.

I know it goes against the grain, but if your money pays for the odd night out and a big telly for the ex, then it has knock on positives for your young 'un, and of course makes you a good man for it.

The knocking on 20 years of hard finance might seem never ending, but it's worth it for your kids surely, and before you know it, they'll be all grown up, and able to appreciate what you have done for them.

I hope everything works out fairly financially for you, but more important is the love for your baby than all the money, and a huge part of her life comes from a happy Mother, it's not worth the squabbling if you can keep that in mind in these frustrating times.

Certainly agree with the point you're trying to make Jim, but what about the OP's son, what about the hardship he may face because of this extra financial strain/burden, it's often been a big criticism of what the CSA did/do because it didn't really take into account the interest of the children living with 'the absent parent' (what a fuckin phrase that is).

yeah it's tough, I guess the OP will look after his lad just fine, it's his daughter he can't allow to live in a bitter dispute etc..

I also find it totally unfair that the CSA keep on taking money from the father when the ex has found a new husband, or live-in partner, who is perfectly capable of contributing. When I met Our Lass, she had a 3 year old lad, and wanted nothing to do with the father, so took no money off him, and I stepped into the role of Dad, with all the costs involved, and I thought nothing of it, it was just part of the deal of being with her.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is, don't let the dispute of money stop your kids from living in a happy, secure household, because it will really hurt you later on in life when you realise the damage the squabbling has caused.

But she still has an equal responsibility to ensure BOTH are treated in a fair and just way though Jim, as well as ensuring that relations do not deteriorate as a result do you not think ? Sacrifices have to be made on both sides as I see it, one shouldn't come out of it better than the other.

But anyway, fair play to you for what you're doing, that's pretty old school and I personally appreciate the way you've done it because I was someone who benefited (greatly so) from that exact same situation :-).

 

[Bill]

use the 5 grand to have her killed.

sorted. you get the dosh and the kids.

 

[tonea2003]

mate if you are both working you are entitled to claim off each other which will highly likely cancel each other out

if you haven't before get claiming it is your right to do so.

<a class="postlink" href="http://www.direct.gov.uk/prod_consum_dg/groups/dg_digitalassets/@dg/@en/@benefits/documents/digitalasset/dg_198849.pdf" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.direct.gov.uk/prod_consum_dg ... 198849.pdf</a>

 

[The Flash]

I have no experience of the CSA or the pain of splitting up with kids involved, so I really feel for you mate, what a horrible situation yo find yourself in.

I guess in your position you only want to see the money you pay spent on your daughter, but bear in mind if you want a happy, secure childhood for your little girl, then you need to ensure her mother is similarly happy and secure, otherwise she will pick up on all the bad feelings and so on, and it will do her no good at all.

I know it goes against the grain, but if your money pays for the odd night out and a big telly for the ex, then it has knock on positives for your young 'un, and of course makes you a good man for it.

The knocking on 20 years of hard finance might seem never ending, but it's worth it for your kids surely, and before you know it, they'll be all grown up, and able to appreciate what you have done for them.

I hope everything works out fairly financially for you, but more important is the love for your baby than all the money, and a huge part of her life comes from a happy Mother, it's not worth the squabbling if you can keep that in mind in these frustrating times.

Certainly agree with the point you're trying to make Jim, but what about the OP's son, what about the hardship he may face because of this extra financial strain/burden, it's often been a big criticism of what the CSA did/do because it didn't really take into account the interest of the children living with 'the absent parent' (what a fuckin phrase that is).

yeah it's tough, I guess the OP will look after his lad just fine, it's his daughter he can't allow to live in a bitter dispute etc..

I also find it totally unfair that the CSA keep on taking money from the father when the ex has found a new husband, or live-in partner, who is perfectly capable of contributing. When I met Our Lass, she had a 3 year old lad, and wanted nothing to do with the father, so took no money off him, and I stepped into the role of Dad, with all the costs involved, and I thought nothing of it, it was just part of the deal of being with her.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is, don't let the dispute of money stop your kids from living in a happy, secure household, because it will really hurt you later on in life when you realise the damage the squabbling has caused.

I'm in the same boat Jim, met my missus and I'm now proud step-dad to her two kids.

However, they spend time with their real Dad and as such, the law states he should still contribute to their upbringing. He's dodged CSA payments for 3 years. No skin off my nose, but Mrs Flash expects him to contribute financially for their upkeep, school uniform, shoes, trainers etc. He doesn't do any of that. He doesn't even spend any dosh on them when they're with him. Just takes them to the park. So far, he's in £4k of arrears and is being prosecuted by the CSA for providing fraudulent income info to them.

That's just my situation.

My advice is always go through the CSA, even if you part on amicable terms. That way there's no nasty surprises down the line.