Daft questions and your answer or what you should have said

[Blue Llama]

This idea was prompted by a conversation with the gas emergency service call centre.
I rang and told them that my gas supply had stopped and as I pay by direct debit there must be a problem.
The first question they asked me was

"what does your gas meter say"
My reply
"No idea I don't speak gas meter".

 

[Nebuchadnezzar]

Theres an inherited line in my family that came from my late paternal grandfather, which I sometimes use when the moment arrives.

He kept tropical fish and was cleaning out the tank one day when his mother in law, never too fond of him, turns up. Rather than ask directly, she asked my Nanna "what's he doing?"

"I'm riding my fucking bike"

 

[MMA]

Remember as a small kid my old fella was a manager in the civil service.
There was a top 20 list of complaints that was bizarre from members of the public to the council.
Always remember reading it and one that always stuck out was ,
" I have a broken knob on my cooker and now I can't get channel 4" .
Also " I have cracked flags in my front garden and now I am pregnant " .

 

[Xhavenjoe]

How much are the penny sweets?

 

[Lavinda Past]

Where did you get your hair cut?

On my fucking head.

 

[Marklr]

My mate asked me once as we were watching ants eat crumbs on the floor, "we can see what the ants eat, but what eats ants?"
Seriously too.
"er...I don't know, but i bet the clue's in it fckin name".

 

[Midlands Blue]

"who are you flying with?"

About 200 other people but I don't know their names

 

[mrbelfry]

Here is something my dad has done all his life and now I do as well. I like all these little family traditions that get passed down.

Dad: "I went to see City yesterday"
Random: "Did you go by yourself?"
Dad: "no there was loads of other people there"

 

[Nebuchadnezzar]

My 3 year old nephew, to my sister;
"Mummy, I'd like a nap-nap"

My dad;
"Well, you'll have to wait until you get inside the door-door"

 

[Tuearts right boot]

My dad had a couple but one that springs to mind was when my mum asked where he was going he would reply
" There and back to see how far it is "

And if someone asked if he was alright he'd reply
" down one side "