Daft questions and your answer or what you should have said

[Barcon]

Are you going to the pictures
No
Then stop picking your seat
Fuck off Dad.

 

[Elbow beards]

When I was about 20. I went to cash a cheque in at the bank. The cashier asked how I wanted it. I said 'money'
What a knob ;(

 

[Bluesince1979]

I went to a french restaurant and asked the waiter if hes got frogs legs? He got all offended, said “no its just the way i walk” and minced off.

Weird

 

[Fiftyyearsandcounting]

"Going anywhere nice on your holiday?"
"No, not this year, we've booked in a crap place"".

 

[Uwe Already]

When cashback was max £50, whenever I was asked “how I wanted it” I’d say “in twenties please…”

 

[Franny 1234]

My dad had a couple but one that springs to mind was when my mum asked where he was going he would reply
" There and back to see how far it is "

And if someone asked if he was alright he'd reply
" down one side "

When I am asked how long will you be?
I always reply 5ft 8 it does the wife's head in and the grandkids.

 

[Barcon]

What's it like out?
Nice. I might leave it out.

 

[Stoned Rose]

Childhood me - “Mam, what’s for tea?”

Mam - “Cow’s cock and onion”

 

[ray21]

How much are the penny sweets?

My sister actually said in a shop years ago, How much are you’re penny arrow bars.

 

[mancboy]

when someone is having a baby

what you having?

A baby obviously