Daft things you've done to impress women

[guinnessdaze]

Turning up for the date...

 

[Never Mind The Pollocks]

I've NEVER impressed a woman in my life.

x 2.

 

[mcfcnorthstand]

You should always just be yourself, thats why I'm single.

 

[dazdon]

Mentioning that you've got a wafter the size of an action man and that you can hammer away for days like a Baboon on viagra can only get you as far as the bedroom.

The second date would be just backtracking when she finds out your mouth has written cheques your dick can't cash.

Did I say second date?

 

[The Silver Surfer]

Well with his flowing tussled locks I thought Ian Bishop's hair after the 5-1 derby in '89 was about as cool as you could get so I quietly slipped into a proper womens hairdressers making sure no one could see me and asked for a light wave which of course is achieved through perming solution. Yes, I sat there while it set clenching my fists praying to God no one I knew would walk in. Half way through slight alarm bells rung when my "stylist" got her senior over and unwrapped one of the curlers. The senior said, "yes, that's ok" and they both walked off.

Anyway after what seemed a life time the curlers came off and the hairdrier came out. I was all set for my new life of girl dazzler when I noticed a resemblance of Leo Sayer staring back at me in the mirror I asked what product they put on so it loosened the curl and they said I would see a relaxationin 2-3 weeks. Fucking weeks!! My heart sank as I thought of the ribbing a 16 yr old lad would take going into work with this monstrosity on my head, and I just knew I'd get a chorus of, "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow".

That was Friday evening, by Sunday I had a no1 crew cut.

 

[Nixon_The_Bike_Thief]

Married one !

 

[2sheikhs]

I stood up to a bully in a chinese chippy who was having a go at 2 girls. He dragged me outside the chippy and belted me in the mouth.
I didn't even get a sympathy fuck.

 

[toby]

If anyone wants to impress me I would love a jag ;o)

 

[Uncle Wally One Ball]

I once pretended that I was a former assistant kit man at City to try and pull a newspaper reporter.

 

[Churchill123]

Mentioning that you've got a wafter the size of an action man and that you can hammer away for days like a Baboon on viagra can only get you as far as the bedroom.

The second date would be just backtracking when she finds out your mouth has written cheques your dick can't cash.

Did I say second date?

I think we've all been there mate... :S