Dealing With a Break-up

[Bill]

As of today after 3 years, i am single. At the moment it hasn't properly sunk in, but i'm feeling more and more depressed as the day goes on. I'm off out to my local tonight with my mates just so i can get out of the house for a few hours. But what i was wondering, it's all well and good going out tonight to forget about it, but how do you forget about it tomorrow, the day after, the day after that and so on? I don't want the macho comments like 'go town, n shag the first girl you see' cos i'm not like that and will never have a one night stand, and anyway how often does that actually happen. Is it true that time is a great healer? Do i just allow myself to get depressed and mope about for a few week in the hope i forget over time? I've deleted her number and everything that i had to do with her has gone, as i felt that might be a good start. Sorry for the thread but just dunno what i'm going to do and how i'm going to cope. I know i'm not the first person in the world to have a relationship end, but at this moment in time it feels like i am.

you dont mention your age but i'm guessing that you are a young man, if you were older you'd know the answer, us oldies have been throught it already, life does get easier and it usually pans out just fine.
when she gets back in touch (and she will) be polite, be strong, be yourself.that way if its a "i made a mistake" call then you wont put her off, if its a "are you ok? call you can show maturity and strength and show what she is missing. you may not want her back but she will go off that call never knowing if she did the right thing, its not much help now but you'll hold the higher ground from that moment.


you WILL me someone else.

we all did.

 

[mancunial]

What you need my friend is a trip to Thialand with some mates, when I split from my last steady I went there had a great time, then i started to go to loads of away games, it takes time to get things organised, when I split from my wife years ago it completely shattered me, took me 18 months to get over it, 1st couple of month I was walking around like a zombie, then ended up packing my job in then started going on the piss shagging anything I could get my hands on, after a year I started to settle, I decided then that no way would I allow myself to feel the way I had done over the last 18 month, I decided I would always keep my own place and to never completely give my all to a woman, I mean their is no fun in throwing someone out on the street if he has somewhere to go. The guilt I felt from the split knocked me back emotionally and financially for years which I will never recover from, but my memories since I would never trade, my affaires my pals holidays my football my 3 other children that have come along since, what a time I've had, none of this would have happened if I had still been married, now I'm not saying you should take this path but what I am saying after the initial shock of the split, go out have a party do everything you want to do, but do not go straight out and rebound, let your life take its course. Best of luck my friend, if you fancy Thialand in September their are 4 of us going out ( all blues ) to meet a mate ( blue ) who owns a bar in Bangkok, then on to pattaya, your welcome to come along if you want.

 

[guvnors son mcfc]

I guess you are still a "youngen", it will be tough for a few weeks, but when you are in your forties and happily married to someone else with two kids and a mortgage you will look back and just think "why did I get upset and waste time moping over that" it all makes up the story of your life mate, good times ahead.

 

[MCFC BOB]

Blue, I definitely wouldnt recommend drinking alone tonight but - even if its the last thing in the world you want to do right now - give a couple of mates a call, tell them the score and head out for a few with them.
All the best man. That's gotta be hard going.

OP, nothing to add to the top advice already given. Plus you may be reeling right now but you're doing everything right at present. Delete number, leave phone at home and get trollied.



A rare moment of sincerity from me - that was one of the best things I've ever read Bob. Us old heads hoped you'd get to 'here' from 'there' - knew you were capable - but to see it happen has been fucking wonderful my friend. Genuinely proud of you Bob. There. I said it.

Cheers man. :)

And to everyone that helped on here.

Alright, alright, no need to be so gay about it.

Only for you, Toma.

 

[kenzie115]

Just remember that you can't change what's happened and whilst the future may feel like it's going to be a better place; a time where you're not hurting, the only time that is actually real is right now. Life is short, don't waste 2, 3 or 6 months of it moping. It might seem hard right now, really hard, but the only way it will get better, the only way time will act as a great healer, is if you get on with living. Do things you've not been able to do because you were in a relationship, you're free and single now, you can do anything you want (within reason). Enjoy it, because statistically you're very, very likely to meet someone else and then you'll be in a relationship again. Look at this as an opportunity rather than a problem.

All the best.

 

[stonerblue]

Fuck this, you're gonna get no cod-psychological cliched ridden drivel off me.


For a more brutal look at reality note Si OB's post and situation and realise your problems are fuck all compared to his.
I'm guessing you're in your 20's at most. Life will deal you much more aggro than being kb'd by a girl. All kinds of shit can, and probably will, happen, and when it does you'll look back and wish you were back where you are now because it's much less painfull.

I'm also guessing that she dumped you and now you're wondering, "Why, what's wrong with me?"
If that is the case then let me tell you now, there is fuck all 'wrong' with you. You managed to keep the girl for 3 years so you must be doing something right, right?
Hopefully i'm wasting both of our time posting this at 9pm on a Satdee night because you'll be out on the razz and i'm about to fall asleep in me chair and forget about the whole thing.

Good luck Blue and enjoy life while you can.

*sent from my nhs carehome using carertalk*