Dealing With a Break-up

[MCFC BOB]

know how you feel pal my missus of 14 years (im 33)whom i have 4 kids two has just told me she is no longer in love with me and wants to call it a day im in fucking bits at the moment i daren't even have a drink.

Blue, I definitely wouldnt recommend drinking alone tonight but - even if its the last thing in the world you want to do right now - give a couple of mates a call, tell them the score and head out for a few with them.
All the best man. That's gotta be hard going.

OP, nothing to add to the top advice already given. Plus you may be reeling right now but you're doing everything right at present. Delete number, leave phone at home and get trollied.

I'm not going to speak for everyone, but when my girlfriend called time our relationship after being together for just over 2.5 years in July last year I thought my life was over. On top of that, she decided to get with someone else just four days later to kick me when I was down. But if anything, the hatred of her that I soon developed helped me move on a bit more.

All I can say is that over the next few months you'll realise just how valuable friendship can be. I've spent literally every other night going to my friend's houses, playing video games, having fun, playing football, going to pub quizzes every Monday. I joined a band and we've got a gig next month at Manchester Academy, I'm playing football quite well again because my hair doesn't block my vision and basically... I'm free to do what a young lad should be doing. I still hurt from time to time and there are days where I think, "God I miss her" and I do still talk to her a bit, but as I understand it, that's natural.

Sure, having a guaranteed shag every now and then is great, but commitment and being in love doesn't feel like all that once you've been carefree and only be responsible for yourself. I realised a little too late that being in a long-term relationship at my age (15-20) is too much hassle. Hell, even the teachers at my college noticed a huge change in my attitude and disposition when I came back after the summer holidays.

So yeah, being single isn't all that bad.

A rare moment of sincerity from me - that was one of the best things I've ever read Bob. Us old heads hoped you'd get to 'here' from 'there' - knew you were capable - but to see it happen has been fucking wonderful my friend. Genuinely proud of you Bob. There. I said it.

Cheers man. :)

And to everyone that helped on here.

 

[Lucky Toma]

Well, as its what I was listening to as I stumbled into the thread it would be rude not to -

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Bi3ApDHpcQ[/youtube]

 

[117 M34]

I knew it was coming so i sort of prepared myself for it already but obviously when it does happen it hits you harder than you think. Again, thanks

I felt exactly the same back then and a few months later I'm a totally different person. Time always heals.

I never you knew you split with your girlfriend Bob, tell us all about it - start from the beginning.

 

[Lucky Toma]

know how you feel pal my missus of 14 years (im 33)whom i have 4 kids two has just told me she is no longer in love with me and wants to call it a day im in fucking bits at the moment i daren't even have a drink.

Blue, I definitely wouldnt recommend drinking alone tonight but - even if its the last thing in the world you want to do right now - give a couple of mates a call, tell them the score and head out for a few with them.
All the best man. That's gotta be hard going.

OP, nothing to add to the top advice already given. Plus you may be reeling right now but you're doing everything right at present. Delete number, leave phone at home and get trollied.

I'm not going to speak for everyone, but when my girlfriend called time our relationship after being together for just over 2.5 years in July last year I thought my life was over. On top of that, she decided to get with someone else just four days later to kick me when I was down. But if anything, the hatred of her that I soon developed helped me move on a bit more.

All I can say is that over the next few months you'll realise just how valuable friendship can be. I've spent literally every other night going to my friend's houses, playing video games, having fun, playing football, going to pub quizzes every Monday. I joined a band and we've got a gig next month at Manchester Academy, I'm playing football quite well again because my hair doesn't block my vision and basically... I'm free to do what a young lad should be doing. I still hurt from time to time and there are days where I think, "God I miss her" and I do still talk to her a bit, but as I understand it, that's natural.

Sure, having a guaranteed shag every now and then is great, but commitment and being in love doesn't feel like all that once you've been carefree and only be responsible for yourself. I realised a little too late that being in a long-term relationship at my age (15-20) is too much hassle. Hell, even the teachers at my college noticed a huge change in my attitude and disposition when I came back after the summer holidays.

So yeah, being single isn't all that bad.

A rare moment of sincerity from me - that was one of the best things I've ever read Bob. Us old heads hoped you'd get to 'here' from 'there' - knew you were capable - but to see it happen has been fucking wonderful my friend. Genuinely proud of you Bob. There. I said it.

Cheers man. :)

And to everyone that helped on here.

Alright, alright, no need to be so gay about it.

 

[mcfc1894]

I'm mates with both of my last two ex's, the first we are like best friends (were together 4 1/2 years), the other (only together for 8 or 9 months) still at the weird stage cos it's only been a couple of months since.

Sorry for contradicting what's already been said, but I don't see why ex's can't be friends, it works for me.

I can't be friends with her as i'll always be hoping we'd get back together, that's why i told her i don't wanna be friends. Being friends and still texting her is pointless and i guess will slow down the process of getting used to us not being together and me meeting someone else, as i'll always have in my mind that i'll have a chance. Again thanks for the advice it's been great, off to the pub now

 

[Uncle Wally One Ball]

Mate, as the days go on, it will get better. Going out with your pals and having a laugh will be the best thing for you at the moment. Try not to dwell on things too much. Just recognise that you are lucky to have a group of mates, who will no doubt, try and cheer you up.


Good luck blue.

Spot on

 

[ayia napa blues]

Time is a great healer it really is mate
U can put time limits on it cos everyone is different
Start by throwing u self into football work other things u don't need to the life an sole of the party

Ask u self what advice would u give i it was u mate

Once u start getting interested in other girls it a massive help
Don't be obsessed with what she up to wondering at the end of the day she doesn't want u anymore and be greatful ur still young and have a great life ahead of u

 

[simmers]

Is she fit?

 

[DannyBoy2890]

Is it true that time is a great healer?

It sure is mate, may not seem like it now, but it is.

Do i just allow myself to get depressed and mope about for a few week in the hope i forget over time?

No, you find ways to keep yourself occupied, join a gym? look into starting new things that you don't already do, to take your mind of things, be around mates, and enjoy life. Forget everything and enjoy it.

I've deleted her number and everything that i had to do with her has gone, as i felt that might be a good start.

The best thing you can do, especially if you're drunk one night and decide to drunkenly text her.


Before you know it you will get to a stage where you can cope with it, and remember the fond times together, yet you'll realize that it's not the worst thing that happened.
Don't hang by your phone in hope of getting a text from her etc....go out, keep busy, hang out with your mates, and enjoy your life.

Things happen for a reason. Chin up brother.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Get a dog.Great for exercise,gives you something to think about,great companion,doesn't asnwer back and a fantastic fanny magnet.
Remember......a dog is for life