Death

Dave Ewing's Back 'eader said:
I'd settle for endin' me days the same way the anaesthetist gave me the sleeping gas - count down from five, he said, and I can't remember getting to three. Ne'er felt a thing. Although me bollocks ached a bit for a few days after I'd come round.
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Thank god it wasn't your arsehole, now that would've been worrying.
 
Tuearts right boot said:
He was a smart, smooth talking salesman, that's who he was. Anyone who tells you he can feed 5000 of the great unwashed with a tin of pilchards and a Warbies Toastie can flog anything.
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Aye, feeding the 5000 on 5 loaves and two fishes is easy, not many were full afterwards mind.
 
Not that it matters but I have seen a few re-openings in my tenure and it ain't a pretty site. Often waterlogged and full to the brim with water so do take a snorkel. The coffins nowadays are made of chipboard or compressed wood and leak like a siv so only good for the crematoria. Your family can buy a better timber one one for ridiculous money that the undertakers call the Windsor or the Kensington to give it an air of quality but in the greater scheme of things a pointless exercise. So for me I shall err with cremation, not a pretty endevour been sent off at gas mark 5 but it's quick and it's over in under two hours and your loved ones get to keep your ashes. They pop you in and then afterwards they rake out your stubborn bones like the femur and calvera that are transferred into a machine called a pulmeriser or cremulator. The cremulater is not dissimilar to a washing machine with large steel balls that grind down your fragments to ash. In my opinion there is no life after death and if I had to describe the mechanism then I would say it's just lke not being born as I remember nothing that transpired before my arrival. Plus who wants to live on in an afterworld as you will not be able to see or talk because the embalmer will have sewn up your mouth tightly with twine and stuffed cotton wool under your eye lids for presentation. So what's it all about Alfie? ..Well think of it as one big holiday camp where some of us get a few days break whilst others get a week and some lucky sausages are here for the full wakes fortnight. We check in and we check out and it's that simple. It's what we do while we are here that matters so cherish every single moment because you only get the one holiday. That is all:
 
BimboBob said:
Nothing of the time. 300 years after the supposed events when mostly only priests,officials and high ranking people can read and write makes for a balanced and totally neutral book.

Obtuse git
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The perception is now maximalist among the majority of scholars of all beliefs, meaning they think the Gospels are accurate (not necessarily the claims but what happened to him).

The minimalist view was that he existed but the Gospels were made up to fit a narrative, which only a tiny minority of scholars now believe, Price being one.

They’ve found church’s less than 300 years after his death, 1000s of miles away, it spread too quickly for nothing to have happened and they have uncovered areas where they they think the crucifixion and burial happened.

I’m not trying to tell you to believe in it, just that a man called Jesus existed, claimed to be the Son of God and died via crucifixion due to blasphemy.
 
nimrod said:
Death, do you ever think about it or is it a taboo subject, are you scared of it, do you believe there is an afterlife ?
Do you think we are born again, or enter into heaven ?

I don't know how many people on here have had a general anaesthetic, I have, and I imagine dying is a bit like that ie nothing.
Just like before you were born.
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I used to think about dying when I was about 9 years old quite a lot, especially at night when I got in bed. Used to get a bit panicky about not wanting to die. I just must have grown out of that.

The idea of an afterlife is pure fantasy, fairytale stuff that is brainwashed into us from being toddlers and we get conditioned into thinking there’s a possibility that it might be true.

If it was never taught to anyone until they became an adult, 98% of the world would laugh you out of the room.

We are just a collection of cells, for a time, that collection of cells is a living organism that is no different in principal to a rodent or a shrub, just that our cells make us up to be of a slightly different form. After a time, that collection of cells as a living organism dies. That collection of cells then decomposes in the ground. Just like all other living organisms.

And that’s it.
 
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I think when you know its coming it helps, not everyone gets the chance to ready themselves ,wills and shit.someone somewhere left the house this morning and wont be going back, how awful that must be for family . myself i can't lose,with will done and words spoken the sooner this nightmare ends the better. no more strain on my wife, no more being spoon fed, no more nappies,and best of all no more fucking VAR :)
 
Bill said:
I think when you know its coming it helps, not everyone gets the chance to ready themselves ,wills and shit.someone somewhere left the house this morning and wont be going back, how awful that must be for family . myself i can't lose,with will done and words spoken the sooner this nightmare ends the better. no more strain on my wife, no more being spoon fed, no more nappies,and best of all no more fucking VAR :)
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I wish I could mend you Bill lad : (
 
Two Gun Bob said:
Not that it matters but I have seen a few re-openings in my tenure and it ain't a pretty site. Often waterlogged and full to the brim with water so do take a snorkel. The coffins nowadays are made of chipboard or compressed wood and leak like a siv so only good for the crematoria. Your family can buy a better timber one one for ridiculous money that the undertakers call the Windsor or the Kensington to give it an air of quality but in the greater scheme of things a pointless exercise. So for me I shall err with cremation, not a pretty endevour been sent off at gas mark 5 but it's quick and it's over in under two hours and your loved ones get to keep your ashes. They pop you in and then afterwards they rake out your stubborn bones like the femur and calvera that are transferred into a machine called a pulmeriser or cremulator. The cremulater is not dissimilar to a washing machine with large steel balls that grind down your fragments to ash. In my opinion there is no life after death and if I had to describe the mechanism then I would say it's just lke not being born as I remember nothing that transpired before my arrival. Plus who wants to live on in an afterworld as you will not be able to see or talk because the embalmer will have sewn up your mouth tightly with twine and stuffed cotton wool under your eye lids for presentation. So what's it all about Alfie? ..Well think of it as one big holiday camp where some of us get a few days break whilst others get a week and some lucky sausages are here for the full wakes fortnight. We check in and we check out and it's that simple. It's what we do while we are here that matters so cherish every single moment because you only get the one holiday. That is all:
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There isn't much anyone can add to that. More or less sums it all up.
 
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