Do you dare take the challenge?

[moomba]

Shay Given (IRL) - quality keeper and seems a quality bloke
Stuart Taylor (ENG) - cheap
Tal Ben-Haim (ISR) - good judge of character
Wayne Bridge (ENG) - lots of improvement left in him
Richard Dunne (IRL) - Honest
Javier Garrido (ESP) - good for the price we paid
Nedum Onuoha (ENG) - quality in all facets
Micah Richards (ENG) - great potential
Kolo Toure (CIV) - when you love a woman
Pablo Zabaleta (ARG) - hard as ****
Gareth Barry (ENG) - consistent
Nigel de Jong (NED) - good to have a mongrel in the midfield (but not a rabid one like we used to have and Newcastle now have)
Kelvin Etuhu (NGR) - pacy, still young
Stephen Ireland (IRL) - always had the great skills, but hid the top notch professional attitude well until a year ago.
Michael Johnson (ENG) - bags of potential
Vincent Kompany (BEL) - cultured
Martin Petrov (BUL) - best left foot since Tarnat
Vladimir Weiss (SVK) - most exciting kid to come through the academy since SWP
Shaun Wright-Phillips (ENG) - genuine hero of the club, puts a smile on supporters faces
Emmanuel Adebayor (TGO) - at his best, a quality forward
Craig Bellamy (WAL) - Only 3 and a half years to go.
Robinho (BRA) - superstar
Roque Santa Cruz (PRY) - thinks Fat Sam is a twat
Carlos Tevez (ARG) - thinks Ferguson is a twat.

 

[C_T_I_D]

Congrats Moomba. Please go onto level 2 - insult all the rag players :-D (I reckon you'll be quite good @ that, plenty of practice)

 

[Nixon_The_Bike_Thief]

Shay Given (IRL) Class international keeper
Stuart Taylor (ENG) Convenient cover for Joe
Tal Ben-Haim (ISR) Adds depth to the international representation at the club
Wayne Bridge (ENG) Competent International left back
Richard Dunne (IRL) Committed
Javier Garrido (ESP) Accepts own position in the squad
Nedum Onuoha (ENG) Future England CB
Micah Richards (ENG) Incredible leap (Campest looking throw in ever though!)
Kolo Toure (CIV) Recognised International Defender
Pablo Zabaleta (ARG) High calibre utility man
Gareth Barry (ENG) Consistent
Nigel de Jong (NED) Recognised Dutch international pit bull
Kelvin Etuhu (NGR) Dickson's brother
Stephen Ireland (IRL) Superman
Michael Johnson (ENG) Cultured football
Vincent Kompany (BEL) Mature reliability beyond his years
Martin Petrov (BUL) Wand of a left foot
Vladimir Weiss (SVK) Exciting
Shaun Wright-Phillips (ENG) Electrifying
Emmanuel Adebayor (TGO) Strong hold up play
Craig Bellamy (WAL) Full on and aggressive
Robinho (BRA) Flair
Roque Santa Cruz (PRY) Power
Carlos Tevez (ARG) Energy

 

[C_T_I_D]

Please see message to Moomba, Nixon. Same applies :-)

 

[moomba]

Van der Saar - twat
Foster - twat
Kuschak - twat
Gary Neville - twat
Rafael - twat
Rio - twat
Vidic - twat
Evans - twat
Evra - twat
Fabio - twat
Giggs - twat
Nani - twat
Scholes - twat.
Carrick - twat
Hargreaves - twat
Bebrbatoss - twat
Rooney - twat
Owen - twat

Have I missed anyone, let me know as I'll need some time to consider each player on his merits.

 

[Blueboylewis09]

Well done CHESTER - your next mission is to slag off the entire rag team...lol...

Edwin van der Sar Dutch Arnlod scharteniger wannabe
Gary Neville Should be on the adams family
Patrice Evra Usain bolt in disguise??
Owen Hargreaves Michael owen wannabe
Rio Ferdinand Drug user
Wes Brown Ferdinands brother!!!
Michael Owen Should live in the hospital
Anderson One shot star
Dimitar Berbatov Berbaflop
Wayne Rooney Shrek. Should have been an actor
Ryan Giggs (vice-captain) Welsh sheep shagger
Ben Foster Wasting away
Park Ji-Sung You want salt and vinegarrrrr!!!
Zoran Tošić Who is he???????????
Nemanja Vidić Should have been a security guard
Michael Carrick What a carrot!!!
Nani My NANNI!!
Paul Scholes Ginger tosser (No offence to all you with ginger hair by the way!!)
Danny Welbeck Who!
Fábio Good future
Rafael Good future
John O'Shea Soap dropper

Jonny Evans Irish dancer
Darren Fletcher scottish dancer
Danny Simpson Decent player
Darron Gibson You gimp!!!
Tomasz Kuszczak Waste of space!!!
Sam Hewson Who????
Tom Cleverly Who????
David Gray Who????
Craig Cathcart Who???
Ron-Robert Zieler Who????
James Chester
Ben Amos Decent keeper
Federico Macheda One time star
Davide Petrucci
Ritchie De Laet
Corry Evans
Daniel Drinkwater I know him, good prospect.
Matthew James
All tossers, all fuck ugly.

They are all rag scums and the rest i havent put something against i dont know..

 

[C_T_I_D]

LOL @ Owen....class....should live in the hospital

You can imagine the conversation with a rag now:

Rag:"That Adebayor is lazy as fuck y'know"
Blue: "Yeah well Owen's such a crock the hospital charge him rent"

 

[coulsonblue]

Have fun CHESTER!!

Van der Sar - General Twat
Kuszczak - hes crap anyway
Foster - hyped up
Vidic - ugly
O'Shea - gay
Evra - cheat
Ferdinand - stupid lips
Evans - over hyped
Neville - should be castrigated for bringing chucklevision to our tv screens
Rafael - over hyped
Brown - for being so sweaty
Fabio - over hyped
Carrick - for leaving spurs when they might have got into the top 4
Valencia - for the stupid "pointing" celebration
Giggs - for not ever having a brasilian
Fletcher - jock
Park - only in team for asia relations
Scholes - ginger
Anderson - thinks cos hes brasilian hes mint went hes shit
Nani - thinks he is ronaldo + 2
Gibson - who?
Hargreaves - for not getting the hair straightners out
Tosic - over hyped
Obertan - signing of the summer! lol
Berbatov - lazy
Rooney - never mind the fake british gas man, this bloke scares the life out of pensioners everywhere
Owen - for falling over evertime he scores
Macheda - lol @ how shit he was after that goal against villa
Welbeck - another over hyped shiter who will end up at sunderland

 

[leighton]

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to make one positive comment per player as seen below (yes gents, even Tal Ben-Haim!)

I thought this would be a welcome change from the negative comments we've had lately...

Shay Given (IRL) Can be World Class on his day great organiser of defence.
Stuart Taylor (ENG) Number 2 and if he learns from Given could be his replacement.
Tal Ben-Haim (ISR) Needs a move from the team wont get much games.
Wayne Bridge (ENG) On his day he is the best English left back playing need help from winger.
Richard Dunne (IRL) Captain who will lift a cup this season.
Javier Garrido (ESP) Good cover for the left side.
Nedum Onuoha (ENG) Strong player who may have to wait for his turn this season.
Micah Richards (ENG) Getting better now he is playing at Right Back.
Kolo Toure (CIV) Toure has it all speed and a good all round defender.
Pablo Zabaleta (ARG) Can play anywere down the right side of the team gives good options.
Gareth Barry (ENG) Looks like he will be the bargain buy this season so far so good.
Nigel de Jong (NED) Strong and steady on the ball never gets ruffled in the game.
Kelvin Etuhu (NGR) Big tall lad needs a loan move could do well in seasons to come.
Stephen Ireland (IRL) Ireland best home grown player playing in the league in the last 5 years.
Michael Johnson (ENG) Has the talent to be a star for club and country if he stays fit.
Vincent Kompany (BEL) Man Mountain may find it hard this year.
Martin Petrov (BUL) Lighting quick
Vladimir Weiss (SVK) Looks like the mordern day SWP to come out of academy.
Shaun Wright-Phillips (ENG) Small all hearted player works hard.
Emmanuel Adebayor (TGO) Unplayable when he is up for it.
Craig Bellamy (WAL) A pain in the arse all action player.
Robinho (BRA) Mr fancy tricks stepover after stepover.
Roque Santa Cruz (PRY) Powerfull striker who will add a lot to the team.
Carlos Tevez (ARG) The best is still to come.

 

[kippax88]

Van der Sar - looks like big bird from sesame street
Kuszczak - overated
Foster - see kuszczak
Vidic - dirty bastard, good defender tho.
O'Shea - takes it up the arse
Evra - overated
Ferdinand - druggie plus overated
Evans - overated
Neville - fantastic player has great link up play with goater.
Rafael - isnt he a turtle?
Brown - overated
Fabio - had a fairly good modelling career but yet again overated
Carrick - overated
Valencia - overated
Giggs - has no birth cirtificate and old
Fletcher - utd wud of won the champs league final if he wasnt suspended
Park - headless crispy duck
Scholes - too old and ginger
Anderson - looks like norma from shameless overated aswell
Nani - looks like gandi and overated
Gibson - dont know wo gibson is but prolly shit and overated
Hargreaves - had more sick notes then darren anderton
Tosic - exactly
Obertan - sounds like a cheap sun lotion
Berbatov - lazy overated shit
Rooney - scouse granny shagger
Owen - see hargreaves plus old
Macheda - overated
Welbeck[ - who?