Dogs!!!

[Blue Mist]

Years ago, when our youngest was a nipper, I quizzed him about some Ferero Rocher missing from the fridge.

“The dog pinched them” was his stout defence.

To which the follow-up question was “Ah, he put the wrappers back then, did he?”


Just after the stupid mut ate the Ferrero Rocher he ate or at least chewed a battery so we took him to the vet as they are poisonous. The vet x rayed him and showed us the results, he didn't think there was a battery inside him but highlighted a strange shape in his stomach. You should have seen the look he gave me when I said 'ah that will be the Ferrero Rocher wrappers'.


Today I think his paws were quite chapped, well what other reason would he be walking, sneaking along more like, with a tube of Mrs Mists hand cream in his mouth. I swear the look on his face was 'oh shit I've been copped'.




Silence...

Just after the stupid mut ate the Ferrero Rocher he ate or at least chewed a battery so we took him to the vet as they are poisonous. The vet x rayed him and showed us the results, he didn't think there was a battery inside him but highlighted a strange shape in his stomach. You should have seen the look he gave me when I said 'ah that will be the Ferrero Rocher wrappers'.


Today I think his paws were quite chapped, well what other reason would he be walking, sneaking along more like, with a tube of Mrs Mists hand cream in his mouth. I swear the look on his face was 'oh shit I've been copped'.

Silence...

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Dogs have a unique digestive system, a pipe with teeth at one end and an arsehole at the other. Basically, what goes in one end pretty much shows up complete at the other particularly peas, sweet corn, carrots etc. Our old dog used to chase balloons, pop em then gobble up the rubber and there were more than a couple of occasions where we needed to twang out a dangling bit after he’d done his biz.

Performed open arse surgery a good many times. String for wrapping meat, grass stalks, garden twine, the list goes on.

 

[sir baconface]

What if they just like it? I get all the nutrients I need, but would never pass up a freshly lain turd and I’m guessing some dogs feel the same.

The best can be found behind curry houses and kebab shops. They hum of chilli as well as the normal hum. And all free. Haven’t bought a kebab in years.

I believe they call it haute cuisine north of the border.

 

[Magicpole]

I believe they call it haute cuisine north of the border.

Exactly.

 

[Fat Chance]

The chewed up juice that's created from munching on a raw chicken wing is a deep primeval memory for a dog....its like it reme.bers that the small wing bones kill a germ in a dogs stomach...normal tea allowance a couple of hrs later and they decide to sack the shit.

* raw only/wing only

 

[Mad Eyed Screamer]

Dogs are needy cunts, too demanding, I prefer cats

The Korean's have the right idea

 

[MCFCTrick]

Dogs are needy cunts, too demanding, I prefer cats

The Korean's have the right idea

I do find cats have a far more delicate flavour, yeah.

 

[Mad Eyed Screamer]

I do find cats have a far more delicate flavour, yeah.

you like pussy eh?

 

[MCFCTrick]

you like pussy eh?

Yes ... spit roasted is a particular method I am partial too.

Meat is lovely.

 

[TCIB]

Lost a full brisket to chopper once, that sucked. 18 hours of tlc on the bbq gone in about 7 seconds. All there was when i came back from the kitchen was an empty plate and a seriously guilty dog face with beef juice dripping from his chops, the ****. I decided after that i'd cook it all for him and i would get the scraps pretty much and that is the deal to this day :-)