Embarrassing moments in life

[bluebc]

Just chatting with some women at a gig a few years ago , started talking about kids etc... I asked her when she was due , “ she’s three months old” was the reply

 

[kaz7]

Who were you having sex with...yourself ??

No one of her male friends lol

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Me and the Mrs were driving around Spain in a hired Renault Kangoo, the one with the van type hatch back. We had stopped by a dam on the Ebro on a deserted rd, miles from civilisation and I had just ' paid a visit '.... It was hot, sweaty and sticky so decided to carry on driving without any undies but by now the only way I could remove said undergarments was to lie down in the back with the hatch back up and struggle to get them off whist the Mrs did her nails or something.....Right on cue a flat back Transit with half a dozen Spanish council blokes drove past....there's me with my undies tangled round my feet, feet in the air and bollocks over the tow bar.

 

[crublue1]

Away at Arsenal a few years ago I missed the tannoy announcement of “ mind the gap” at embankment tube station my left leg went down the “gap” emergency services called had to get wheeled out to the amusement of all the arsenal supporters 4 months off work ended up 60/40 chance I’d lose the leg from the knee down .every visit to the smoke and I’m reminded of mind the gap.never forget the shame of being stuck between the train and platform and then Tarquinius in stitches .
Too be honest I was pretty oiled.

Better than losing it from the knee up!
Seriously though that sounds horrendous.

 

[PinkFinal]

Mine are so painful I cannot actually write them down

 

[Jazzman]

Mine are so painful I cannot actually write them down

Come on give it a try. It may liberate you.

 

[BeerIsTheBest]

In the now defunct Stockport Hospital with a footy injury and confined to bed. Twas the days when visiting and visitor hours were tightly controlled by fearsome Matrons. Just before evening visiting the ward was set up for the influx of folk who were queuing outside the ward door. I decided I needed a piss and called for the pan. Screens were drawn and other patients started moaning and shouting for me to get a move on.

I positioned myself over the pan and got going. It was a fair stream. Sadly my old chap was hung outside the pan and a lake of piss developed on the plastic protective sheet under the bedclothes.

I noticed too late and thrashed about with the piss following me around the bed.

A nurse came to collect the pan, drew back the screen a little, saw my discomfort and went to tell Matron that visiting would be delayed. The empathetic Matron opened the ward door, stopped the front visitors from entering and said.. ‘sorry there’s been a delay, a patient has just wet their bed.’

it was blindingly obvious it was me as mine was the only bed with the screens drawn.

Once visiting started I tried to keep my head down but felt lots of folk pointing and sniggering. Highly embarrassing.

 

[Onholiday(somemightsay)]

Thought everyone had left a party i was at, started having sex on the sitting room floor and the host walked in , and out again , busted

You know the rules Kaz......... ;-)

 

[jaiguruKun]

I'm currently awaiting dental implants and have a temporary bridge where the lower middle four were. Solicitor by trade and last week the bridge came loose as I was just starting closing speech in a trial. The bench didn't know where to look as I popped it back in. That one will stay with me for some time.

 

[Onholiday(somemightsay)]

Mine are so painful I cannot actually write them down

Come on matey - we'll be gentle........ ;-)