I had the same reaction.
One thing that I can definitely recommend is Warner's book Hardcore Zen: Punk Rock, Monster Movies and the Truth About Reality.
It's genuinely, laugh out loud funny. The chapter titles include: 'In my next life, I want to come back as a pair of Lucy Liu's Panties' and 'Pass me the Ecstasy, Rainboy. I'm going to Nirvana on a Stretcher!'
That actually only ever happened to me once. It was one of those moments when real life exceeds all your expectations.
Just to return to the topic of atheism, although I've read Dawkins' The God Delusion and Hitchens' God is not Great, the most persuasive accounts of anti-theism/disbelief I have come across were both authored by ex-Muslims. Those were Ali Rizvi's The Atheist Muslim and Alom Shaha's The Young Atheist's Handbook.
Rizvi is especially interesting because he points out that atheism is punishable by death in 13 Muslim countries, and in 2014 Saudi Arabia declared all atheists to be terrorists. Apparently, unofficial bootleg translations of the writings of Dawkins and others in the New Atheist camp are covertly circulated in many Muslim countries and are popular because these Western authors are giving voice to views that it would be dangerous for their readers to publicly express.
Hope nobody gets the impression that I am anti-Muslim from reading the above as there is much to admire about Islamic culture and philosophy. It's a faith that gets stereotyped and treated as if it is a monolithic entity but nothing could be further from the truth.
Thanks. I'll be in a position to be a more active contributor in a week or so.
At the moment I am reading a book on something called 'Terror Management Theory' called The Worm at the Core: On the Role of Death in Life. One of the reviewer's blurbs on the back states: 'The most comprehensive and well-evidenced account to date of the idea that fending off the awareness of death is the prime mover of the human condition.'
It's fascinating so far, though Buddhists would absolutely concur with the previous statement.
Some very interesting stuff...in some regard the horse has bolted and us humans can't really turn back the clock and 'unevolve' ourselves (though many try).
Will drop those book links into a wish list too.
Buddhism does seem to come quite close to helping along the way, not that it's the silver bullet for everyone perhaps.
Of late, given a very bad year last year (and many 'stagnant' ones previously) I've found going out of my way to be more social...has helped the inderstanding of both myself and others. A lot of exercise and a bit of reflection (I do an occasional bit of meditation in yoga) and its helped me enormously through this 'shit-strom' of life. I get more of those rare moments where everything seems euphopric...sometimes when working out/running, listening to incredible music or simply observing nature (sex...I've forgotten to be fair). Think there's a word in Buddhism for this. Ruish of chemicals I'm sure...but they're extremely peacful moments (and coming off some royal lows they feel much more appreciated).
I have my chldren I love and that's enough at the moment. It's a bit of a fight life, but sometimes you have to enjoy that battle and the victories.