Examples of stupidity.

OffertonBlue said:
The girlfriend was doing an oldish house up and went to B&Q and asked for a dildo rail. When the guy started loudly asking all the other staff that "This lady wants a dildo rail. Have we got any in stock?" she couldn't understand why everyone was laughing.
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We sent the home owner to pick up a some clear, silicone cockring one time. Thankfully she had a sense of humour.
 
richardtheref said:
On my bus today I picked a lad up at Peterlee & dropped him off at Dalton Park shopping center. I then went through to Sunderland & returned to Dalton Park an hour & a half later. There he was stood at the bus stop. So he gets back on & says all the shops are closed, do I know why. I says "aye, the lockdown". He then asks for a ticket to Middlesbrough & asks if the shops will be open through there.
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Its definitely a Boro thing as I can testify as the Mrs is from there, bless her shes no domestic goddess. So one day I was cleaning down the cooker hood in the kitchen and she walks in and says, 'What u doing now? and dont say cleaning!' To this day I still dont have an answer for her.
 
I bought a door handle from a shop not long ago and decided I would like another one.
I remembered the stock was low so I thought it best to ring the store to make sure they still had some.
A girl answered the phone and I said, hello I'm just checking whether you have something in stock.
She replied, I'll just go and check and then she put the phone down for about 2 or 3 minutes.
Eventually she picked up the phone and said, no we don't have any of those anymore.

Puzzled I said but I haven't told you what I'm after.
There followed an embarrassed giggle from her and then she hung up.
 
When I was at uni late 1980s a guy on our corridor had been out late Saturday night and emerged mid afternoon Sunday . He went to the shop as he'd missed lunch and went to the kitchen to prepare what he'd bought. We heard swearing from the kitchen and went to find out what was wrong. He was stood there cursing and saying that it wasn't working. We saw he was stirring a jug of gravy. He said to us, "I followed the instructions and nothing is happening". We we're pissing ourselves as he'd bought a packet of gravy because he'd seen the picture of a sunday lunch on the front. He honestly thought that it was a powdered meal, like a pot rice or pot noodle, and beef, potatoes and yorkshire puddings would emerge from the granules.
 
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I posted this in another thread recently, suppose its gullibility as much as stupidity but thought I'd pop it in here.

When I was a kid I convinced my mate that if he cut a 26.1cm piece of string, pissed on it and held it next to his ear close to the radio masts on Ashton Moss he'd pickup Piccadilly Radio. Sadly, when he tried it he was on his own so the rest of us never had the chance to see it first hand.
 
Prestwich_Blue said:
Hard to beat my sister-in-law's daughter. On hearing a sat-nav speaking instructions she said "Oh this would be great for blind drivers".

And one New Year's Eve, she was doing Auld Lang Syne, with hands crossed as usual. She said to her pal "I love your watch. Where did you get it?" to which her friend replied "That's your watch".
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That made me laugh.
 
Was working opposite a guy a few years back when his mrs phoned him up. From what i heard and what he filled in later the conversation went something like this

Mrs: Hi hun... at dinner time can you nip home and get my spare car key and drop it off at the shopping centre?

Him: Why?.... have you lost your car keys?

Mrs: No.... the batteries gone and it won't work.

Him: Why do you need me to get your spare key?

Mrs: Cos i've got a load of shopping and cant get in the car to get home

Him: Well, just use the key

Mrs: Thats what i'm telling you, the battery has gone

Him: Use the key

Mrs: i cant, i told you

Him: Take your key out, and now put the shiny silver spikey bit in the shiny silver hole on the car door......

Mrs: oh yeah, i didn't think of that.... thanks hun... see you later
 
sky tot said:
When I was a kid , house with 4 males and my mum . We had the cricket on the tele , bowler was shining the ball up on his trousers when my mum came out with the classic “ are they allowed apples when they are playing cricket “
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Every single time we were besten by anymore than 2 goals, my mum would ask the same question.

Who was the goalie?

After the 546th time I gave up explaining it wasn't always the goalies fault. She never looked convinced and kept asking the same question for the rest of her life if we got handed our arse. About 25 years after that 546th time. Bless.
 
my ex a few years back on xmas morning helping the kids open their pressies.
In one of them was a pepper pig umbrella, and just as shes about to put it up, i remark to her that its supposed to be unlucky to put an umbrella up in the house.
She looks at me quizzically and says 'What ???, even if its a kids one'
 
Tuearts right boot said:
The puzzling question remains....how did you even know that ??
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It was a time when old 70's glam rock stars were touring at Christmas
We booked to see Glitter but had no idea the "original, all American village people" were the support act
They were rubbish but as everyone was pissed, no one cared
Glitter was so bad it was great entertainment
 
Magicpole said:
Every single time we were besten by anymore than 2 goals, my mum would ask the same question.

Who was the goalie?

After the 546th time I gave up explaining it wasn't always the goalies fault. She never looked convinced and kept asking the same question for the rest of her life if we got handed our arse. About 25 years after that 546th time. Bless.
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To be fair to her, she had the same logic for why goalkeepers get awarded the Golden Glove award for keeping clean sheets every season.
 
A few years ago got in a pub at opening time on a wintery Saturday. Entrance to pub was up a slight incline and there was some ice. Landlord was putting salt down to thaw the ice. Barmaid suggested why not pour boiling water on the ice as that will melt it quicker.
 
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