Farting.

[stony]

Peoples farts fucking stink and as much as I think my own smell wonderful I am sure others will think 100% different. So I try not to drop my guts under anyone else's nose.

But farts are funny, especially mine.

 

[Blue Maverick]

Re: Farting

I've only farted once in front of my wife whilst awake and it was 13 years ago. Actually it wasn't my fault, you see we were messing about on the living room floor after drinking loads of wine, she got up to go for a pee, and pressed on my stomach to steady herself, and I let out, what I can only describe as a deafening blast, with such force that I'm sure my pants would've ended up like Dr David banners shorts, at the end of a "hulk" episode. If I fart in the night, fuck it, I'm asleep :-)

You don't fart in front of your wife ? Mine would think I was ill or something.

No, never. Only ever heard my wife drop one, in her sleep and that's rare, as I'm normally snoring my bollocks off :)

My wife is worse than me, she's cabin crew Jesus all that flying plays havoc when she gets home it's like a force 10 gale in our house.

 

[StrangewaysHereWeCome]

Peoples farts fucking stink and as much as I think my own smell wonderful I am sure others will think 100% different. So I try not to drop my guts under anyone else's nose.

But farts are funny, especially mine.

They're not. Go for a shit you dirty **** (farts sound funny on the shitter)

 

[stony]

Peoples farts fucking stink and as much as I think my own smell wonderful I am sure others will think 100% different. So I try not to drop my guts under anyone else's nose.

But farts are funny, especially mine.

They're not. Go for a shit you dirty **** (farts sound funny on the shitter)

If I wanted a shit I'd have one. If I want to fart, I fart. No good holding it in.

 

[Bodicoteblue]

What's farting?

 

[stony]

What's farting?

Not strangeways, he's strange and has strange ways.

 

[dronefromsector7g]

Over the last few weeks my 5 year old started to say 'daddy I just clicked'. I asked what she meant and she said 'farted through my jum jim (her name for her fanny!!) I fucking pissed myself. She told my mum last week and she says 'can 5 year olds do that?' lol

 

[Balti]

Peoples farts fucking stink and as much as I think my own smell wonderful I am sure others will think 100% different. So I try not to drop my guts under anyone else's nose.

But farts are funny, especially mine.

there are many different types of fart of course

can you be more specific about the type of fart you find so amusing?

 

[stony]

Peoples farts fucking stink and as much as I think my own smell wonderful I am sure others will think 100% different. So I try not to drop my guts under anyone else's nose.

But farts are funny, especially mine.

there are many different types of fart of course

can you be more specific about the type of fart you find so amusing?

I particularly like the one where I creep upstairs when I'm pissed and press my arse right up against sons bedroom door and then let rip. The wooden door accentuates the fart, making it more audible than it actually is. He isn't best pleased about it mind, especially if he's skyping with his girlfriend.

 

[malg]

Great topic title, it must have taken hours to come up with it.