Funniest remark heard at City game?

[babyape]

City coach on the way to Wembley for the rags Semi final.. Bloke behind me said to his mate, "I've not been this nervous about a semi since i watched Brokeback Mountain!!"

Certainly lightened the mood....

 

[Joliet Jake Blues]

QPR Home 1977 Poor Stan Bowles,the Kippax roared-"Stanley,Stanley,Wheres your Wife?" (She had recently walked out on him) He Turned round and Shrugged to the Kippax with an "I Dont Know Gesture" got a rather Ironic Cheer.

I remember that too, along with the chant to the tune of Knees up Mother Brown

"Who's up Stanley's wife?
Who's up Stanley's wife?
Every, every, everyone
Every, every, everyone.

Unfortunately she was sitting in the Main Stand at the time

 

[Squadmissile]

In 2011 playing Newcastle at home, The Geordies start singing "You'll never win fuck all". The bloke next to me jumps up and shouts "That's a double negative you thick Geordies cunts"

Also playing Leicester in the cup, a ginger Leicester fan is giving us grief after their early goal, the bloke behind me shouts "Les battersby, you fucking traitor" I think it was the shock that shut him up.

 

[mxpx]

Mxpx, is this your first season following City then?

Yes it is.

 

[GX Blue]

Mxpx, is this your first season following City then?

Yes it is.

Good in it :-)

 

[Zin 'messiah' Zimmer]

That vinegar kompany is bloody liability in defence, get him back in midfield- oh how I laugh at this guy, he knows now when I turn round not to pipe up or ill rob his flask!!!

 

[Stretford Born Blue]

Years ago I took my then girlfiend (now the wife!) to a derby match at Maine Road. We were stood in the Kippax near the tunnel by the away fans. It was strangely quiet at the time when Martin Buchan cut down Colin Bell.
The first voice I heard was my girlfriend who shouted at about 9000 decibles 'You dirty fucking twat' to which half the Kippax stared at this angelic little red head who went even redder. I'd never heard her swear before...!

 

[allan harper]

Not at a game but my 6 year old daughter learnt this at the Stoke game.

The other day we was visiting my parents for a family Sunday Roast, while we are all sat round eating our meal my dad asked my 6 year old daughter what she was doing later. She replied that she was going to visit her other grandparents and play their piano. So my dad said ( knowing they supported Liverpool ) " play we are the champions on the piano, they'll like that" my daughter turned round and said " no, I'm going to play, you've had your day out now fuck off home!" She even pointed with her finger when she said "home"!

It's pretty difficult not to cry in tears of laughter and tell her that its wrong it say that at the same time.

 

[Stretford Born Blue]

My father in law (god rest him) told me a story once from some years ago.
City were playing Everton at Maine Road and he was stood in the North Stand where it was mixed fans.
My father in law was a cop at the time and had to ask this particular well groomed Evertonian to wind his neck in as every other word was Fuck, shite, cunts....You get the picture.
Well, his reply to my father in law was something along these lines.....
'By day and night young man I perform brain surgery, at the match I take my own brain out so that I can have a shout and swear, it relieves the stress'
Not much you can say to that.......?!

 

[MCFC-alan88]

The guy behind me shouts "WANT IT! WANT IT!" whenever there's a 50/50, proper cracks me up.