Give us your best United jokes please!

[citizen tony]

that slur Alex Furgerscum the man with a face for radio and a voice for teletext

 

[bell_mcfc]

Ask if they are looking forward to uniteds new documentary about last season; Gone in 60 seconds!

That is the best, I'm claiming that as my own :-)

As long as you annoy the rags its all ok :D

 

[Pam]

De Gea, Jones, Smalling, Ferdinand, Evra, Rooney, nani, Carrick, Feltcher, Hernandez, Bebe, Giggs, Scholes.

Funny as feck

You are forgetting about Johnny Evans and the twin arse units of Raphael or whatever the fuck they're called. The twats from Brazil who can't defend, I mean.

And another joke is that in two successive days, rags have told me that they can see City and United running away with it again in the season t outcome. WTF, is what I always say? You'd feel sorry for them if they weren't such a load of snivelling coyote half-wits.

 

[imrebanana]

Father Christmas, The Tooth Fairy, The Abominable Smowman and a Manyoo fan from Manchester all walking down the street. They all spot a £10 note on the the floor.

Q: Which one picks it up?

A: Nobody as none of the exist.

What do you mean, Father Christmas doesn`t exist !!

 

[Roll On City]

If pig fly s Old Trafford would be an airport
























*gets coat*

 

[Catzilla]

Ask if they are looking forward to uniteds new documentary about last season; Gone in 60 seconds!

Ahh love it... staring Nic Cage, Angelina Jolie, Wayne Rooney and a supporting cast of thousands of southerners.....<br /><br />-- Thu Jul 12, 2012 11:39 am --<br /><br />

How do you put a cork back into a champagne bottle?


















Ask a United fan

love it..... choking with laughter!!!!!!

 

[Catzilla]

United fans singing city's cracking up.

United fans celebrating arsenals winner against us in the bishops blaize and then singing Championees.

The look on phil jones face when he found out city had won it.

United not having 1 shot on target in the derby at eastlands.

United losing 6-1 at home in the derby.

Bet Fred paying out on united.

Losing an 8 point lead with 6 games to go.

These are all funny as fuck I would say. MCFC champions!

priceless stuff!!!!! Like the quote not in my lifetime!!!!!

 

[Catzilla]

A man goes into a pub in the Australian Outback twith an alligator under his arm.

"Do you serve Man United fans in here?" he asks.

"Certainly Sir, no problem at all," replies the barman, nervously staring at the alligator.

"Okay," says the man, "a pint of lager for me and a Man United fan for the alligator please."

 

[Akira]

How do you put a cork back into a champagne bottle?


















Ask a United fan

Hah! This is hilarious!

 

[samharris]

People decide to become Manchester united supporters because they hear it will be good for learning disabilities..

so they do...and they get them.