Going on a date..its been a long time

[dickie davies]

Any tips would be very helpful..please be serious;)

Don't forget the essentials
Big spanner
Gaffer tape
Heavy duty refuse sacks
Shovel

 

[hilts]

Can't go wrong with a five knuckle shuffle one hour before to get you in the mood.

Not much point going then may as well open a tinny and watch Die Hard.

 

[splinter]

Might get a spray tan..I look half dead

 

[deano ou812]

Might get a spray tan..I look half dead

A Ben white special..

 

[hammocity]

Can't go wrong with a five knuckle shuffle one hour before to get you in the mood.

A blue mate of mine many years ago (definitely a mate btw!) split up with his wife. After a few months he decided to get back on the horse by visiting an escort agency. So he went in, picked his “provider” got in the boudoir where she teased him, unfortunately his little soldier fired his ammunition too early, he’d only paid for one shot so he left, quite embarrassed.

Fast forward to the following week, thought he’d give it another go, so he found a secluded spot not far from the Escort agency and had the ham shank, all the time worried someone would spot him, he managed it and was good to go. He got to the Parlour and there was a message on the door, “closed until tomorrow”. That was the end of his “brothel” days.

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

Make sure you have clean undies on, you never know.......

 

[BimboBob]

He's probably taken a screenshot of her Tinder profile. Or his Tinder profile.

Probably grinder.

 

[BlueHammer85]

ask her views on VAR.

 

[johnnytapia]

Brush your teeth

Both of them

 

[bluebc]