I don’t think it’s unfair to say I’m a pretty strident, self-confident and upbeat individual. Don’t think there are many people who know me will disagree with any of that.
But Monday’s news, delivered as it was via a Whatapp message received while waiting for a train, filled me with a combination of dread, weariness and a little fear. Not so much that this amazing part of our journey will end, because I know it will at some point, but more that the last 15 years would become reduced in some way.
That (mild) fear is a feeling I’m familiar with at work when things take a turn for the worst in certain situations. Whenever that happens I get quite internally-despondent for a very short period. Sometimes seconds, sometimes hours, sometimes days; but I eventually apply logic and experience to the problem and quickly get a sense of perspective - and then think about how I’m going to win.
Went through the same process this week with City. Deflated and enervated at the beginning; defiant and determined to prevail at the end.
It’s a perfectly natural to go through a range of emotions when you have to process something like this.
So in answer to the OP, as at the time of this post, as much as ever!