How do I get out of this without faking my own death?

[Wrighty Wrexham]

Go in "just a pair of trousers"

if asked what how you come as say " a premature ejaculation"

Ineviteably will be asked "How you make that out?"

Say cos "you've cum in your trousers!!"

:)

 

[LongsightM13]

I love fancy dress.

I get the gladiator costume out.

I think I've got a duty to level with you here, mate.
Even your regular matchday vines, 'highly distinctive' as they are, would be considered 'fancy dress' by most on here...

Ste, why not just book a romantic night for the two of you at a fancy hotel and restaurant, champers and roses in the room, the works. Tell her you booked it a few weeks ago or whenever all this shit kicked off, tell her it's non-refundable and you haven't told her yet because you didn't want to disappoint her, but you'll cancel it all if you must.
I bet she'll go for it.
Will end up costing you a few quid, but has to be a better option than a fancy dress party with a bunch of goobers you don't know or like

 

[Bill]

You owe her big time mate, seriously. Just go.

this.

 

[andyhinch]

You owe her big time mate, seriously. Just go.

this.

Bit like your stagg go Bill sometimes you just got to go

 

[denislawsbackheel]

Go as one of The Village People.

Job's a good un.

 

[SteWadda]

I love fancy dress.

I get the gladiator costume out.

I think I've got a duty to level with you here, mate.
Even your regular matchday vines, 'highly distinctive' as they are, would be considered 'fancy dress' by most on here...

Ste, why not just book a romantic night for the two of you at a fancy hotel and restaurant, champers and roses in the room, the works. Tell her you booked it a few weeks ago or whenever all this shit kicked off, tell her it's non-refundable and you haven't told her yet because you didn't want to disappoint her, but you'll cancel it all if you must.
I bet she'll go for it.
Will end up costing you a few quid, but has to be a better option than a fancy dress party with a bunch of goobers you don't know or like

This sounds like a plan and I wish I would have read it before shopping for coustumes with her last night.

She is going in a cup cake dress like Katy Perry now, I asked if I could just wear my scruffs and not shave to be Russel Brand but she wasn't having it.

 

[Anonymous]

I think you should go dressed a snail or some other invertebrate lol

Seriously just tell her your not going end of, if needs be drag up an example of places you like to go that she wont go with you, football, strip club etc.

 

[shootmeifipost10k]

I love fancy dress.

I get the gladiator costume out.

I think I've got a duty to level with you here, mate.
Even your regular matchday vines, 'highly distinctive' as they are, would be considered 'fancy dress' by most on here...

Ste, why not just book a romantic night for the two of you at a fancy hotel and restaurant, champers and roses in the room, the works. Tell her you booked it a few weeks ago or whenever all this shit kicked off, tell her it's non-refundable and you haven't told her yet because you didn't want to disappoint her, but you'll cancel it all if you must.
I bet she'll go for it.
Will end up costing you a few quid, but has to be a better option than a fancy dress party with a bunch of goobers you don't know or like

This sounds like a plan and I wish I would have read it before shopping for coustumes with her last night.

She is going in a cup cake dress like Katy Perry now, I asked if I could just wear my scruffs and not shave to be Russel Brand but she wasn't having it.

Come on Ste, you somehow forgot to tell us which costume you got on your shopping trip.
You could have gone in a tweed jacket and flat cap dressed as Victor Meldrew, then if you don't like the party it's a perfect excuse to act a miserable git and get away with it saying you're just getting in the fancy dress party spirit.

 

[SteWadda]

I think I've got a duty to level with you here, mate.
Even your regular matchday vines, 'highly distinctive' as they are, would be considered 'fancy dress' by most on here...

Ste, why not just book a romantic night for the two of you at a fancy hotel and restaurant, champers and roses in the room, the works. Tell her you booked it a few weeks ago or whenever all this shit kicked off, tell her it's non-refundable and you haven't told her yet because you didn't want to disappoint her, but you'll cancel it all if you must.
I bet she'll go for it.
Will end up costing you a few quid, but has to be a better option than a fancy dress party with a bunch of goobers you don't know or like

This sounds like a plan and I wish I would have read it before shopping for coustumes with her last night.

She is going in a cup cake dress like Katy Perry now, I asked if I could just wear my scruffs and not shave to be Russel Brand but she wasn't having it.

Come on Ste, you somehow forgot to tell us which costume you got on your shopping trip.
You could have gone in a tweed jacket and flat cap dressed as Victor Meldrew, then if you don't like the party it's a perfect excuse to act a miserable git and get away with it saying you're just getting in the fancy dress party spirit.

I got a Super Mario costume mainly because it was on sale.

 

[ChesterRdBlue]

I was faced with a pretty much identical scenario to this. I battled against it, but against my better judgement and the pressure of having do the done thing, went along.

I ended the night with a broken hand and no more party invites. Good luck.