how do you get over a long term relationship?

mighty blue-sh said:
cheers lads, thanks for all the advice and its reassuring to hear other peoples stories.

What i have decided to do is, buy a cat, start cycling, shag her best friend and a fat bird(same thing), give it time and i am going away this weekend.

seriously though, you are all gents(except macenzie, obviously)
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Just be with your mates - in time they will help you snap out of it - but it does take time I'm afraid!
 
Blue Lloyd said:
mighty blue-sh said:
cheers lads, thanks for all the advice and its reassuring to hear other peoples stories.

What i have decided to do is, buy a cat, start cycling, shag her best friend and a fat bird(same thing), give it time and i am going away this weekend.

seriously though, you are all gents(except macenzie, obviously)
Click to expand...

Just be with your mates - in time they will help you snap out of it - but it does take time I'm afraid!
Click to expand...

He's right mate. Spend time with your mates and try to enjoy the fact you have more free time to yourself. Indulge in your hobbies and try to keep a cool head.

Your emotions will change every 5 seconds for a while but try to let coolness prevail and give your ex some time and space, dont slag her or call her a **** even if you really want to lol cos you dont want to alienate her further just try to keep a cool head and you will get better.

It's hard to say anything without sounding like a cliched agony aunt but I promise you that the cliches are all true regarding time being a healer etc.
 
Blue Lloyd said:
mighty blue-sh said:
cheers lads, thanks for all the advice and its reassuring to hear other peoples stories.

What i have decided to do is, buy a cat, start cycling, shag her best friend and a fat bird(same thing), give it time and i am going away this weekend.

seriously though, you are all gents(except macenzie, obviously)
Click to expand...

Just be with your mates - in time they will help you snap out of it - but it does take time I'm afraid!
Click to expand...


I had that experience many moons ago.

It took me fooking ages to get my head straight and I threw myself into work, booze and slappers.

The thing that pulled me out of it was a good friend told me that I was worthy of being happy. I thought my chance of happiness was wrapped up in another person ie the ex which was not the case.

When it finally sunk in, and I finally believed that I was worthy of happiness, i was free from the pain.

I hope that makes sense......you are worthy of happiness as is everyone.
 
Mackenze is the only person on here who is capable of giving you the comfort and help you need at this moment, does she offer ? not a chance.

Seriously mate, it is just time, time and more time. Do'nt do the bender it makes things worse. Does'nt mean do'nt have a beer, just get out with friends cos they wont mind listening and try things they want to do cos it will keep your mind off your own situation.
We've all been there, we're all still here, you will be too. Good luck mate.


Sorry Mac it was just levity, unless you can find it in your heart....
 
mighty blue-sh said:
cheers lads, thanks for all the advice and its reassuring to hear other peoples stories.

What i have decided to do is, buy a cat, start cycling, shag her best friend and a fat bird(same thing), give it time and i am going away this weekend.

seriously though, you are all gents(except macenzie, obviously)
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good to see your sense of humour is still intact :) and by that i meant your synopsis of the thread, not your assertion that theres anything at all gentlemanly about bluemooners ;)

in my personal experience the first 6 weeks are the worst, where you're adapting to the culture shock and you can easily find yourself stuck for something to do. after that, you start to adapt, and you can go on from there.

a friend of mine, on the cusp of his divorce, said if he thought that if you totted up the number of months you were with someone, thats how many weeks you'll need to get over breaking up. fortunately i think that would be a big over-estimate- but of course, these things take time, try to be patient.

Keep your chin up fella. throw yourself into something positive to occupy your time and your mind, that was good advice. Try and see the opportunities in it, the silver lining n that- do everything you've wanted to do for the last 8 years but couldnt because you were seeing someone. You'll be alright.
 
Hard to add anything really apart from this song.

I find it uplifting, and it helped me through a split once, many years back.

It might not be your type of music, but....

They are a fucking cool band... i have about 7 or 8 of their albums.

They are The Descendents.

Sorry.... i'm waffling now.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rAiJwCkgX0
 
spend all the money shes just saved you on yourself quick smart or move it offshore, there might be a trawler departing....somewhere.
 
Is there something that you were stopped from doing by your ex. If so, then do that. I am not sure that this would have any benefit but you never now.

I am not allowed to have a big telly but Mrs DT knows I am straight down Argos should we part.
 
It takes time mate and proper turns your life upside down, she'll be feeling exactly the same though cos everything of you did for the past 8 yrs had the other in mind. I'd expect her to be in touch within a few days and you're really gonna have to be strong, stay with your mates they'll see you straight!
 
keep your chin up. Get out of the house. Spend time in the company of friends and family. I wouldn't recommend going on a bender but the quicker you shag someone else the better!

It will take time, I know from experience! I take it there are no kids involved ? If that is correct then make a clean brake. Get all the "thats mine thats yours" stuff done as soon as possible.

All the best mate. I know what your going through!
 
Any of us can say to you "time is a great healer" and that is true.

Won't be of any use to you right now though. The short term solution of going out and "enjoying " yoiurself with all your mates,getting larrupsed,nailing fit or fat available women whilst she is still forefront in your mind won't be fair to yourself or anyone you meet.

Some time to reflect on what has happened is good, I'm not saying shut yourself away and down vodka til 3 in the morning ,pestering the ex with tearful phone calls and threats/declarations of love etc etc like some people do.

Perhaps,as already posted, taking up an old abndoned hobby or a new pastime which went on the back burner would be one step forward for you?

stay strong and you'll be fine mate.
 
realistically there is fuck all you can do my friend. do whatever it is you do when you are down in the dumps. if you want to be alone, be alone. Don't dither on it too much or you will fuck your head right up. If she has her mind made up that is it. Nothing you can do. Take her word for it and move on. Cut your ties. Get your life back on track ASAP, don't let her see she's had an effect on you. Whatever you do don't go looking for her back.If she comes back well and good, but don't go snivelling. Summation. Accept and move on.
 
go on a spending spree. When i got dumped a couple of years ago. I completley cut contact with the ex, bought a new computer, new tele and upgraded the car.
Try get stuff that will make you feel proud of yourself, itl pick you up, and youl be more confident going out with ur mates.
Oh and 1year later she came back begging me to take her back. I ignored her solid for a year.
 
I've never got these people who break up but stay friends. Unless there are kids involved I wouldn't want to have anything remotely to do with an ex. Whenever I've been in a relationship that's broken up I've cut all ties to that person as much as possible (one ex is a friend of my sister-in-law so I unfortunately have to see her at the occasional party or trip to the pub).
 
Matty said:
I've never got these people who break up but stay friends. Unless there are kids involved I wouldn't want to have anything remotely to do with an ex. Whenever I've been in a relationship that's broken up I've cut all ties to that person as much as possible (one ex is a friend of my sister-in-law so I unfortunately have to see her at the occasional party or trip to the pub).
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ever had another go on it for old times sake?
 
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